Spot-checking U.S. voter registration forms found that one in eight forms are filled out incorrectly, which is a bigger portion of the electorate than the Libertarian Party. Not a joke here, just stickin’ it to Libertarians.
Politico reports that 1.8 million dead people are
registered to vote in the United States, which would explain why Strom Thurmond
continues to get votes. That, and racism.
In New York, the M.T.A. chief voiced opposition to a ban
on eating in subways, saying “if people want to eat in a homeless person’s
bathroom, that’s their God-given right!”
An Indian newlywed walked out on her husband this week
because he does not have a toilet, and she’s refusing to come back until he
builds one. Also, even though he didn't have a toilet, he still managed to
leave the lid up. Am I right, ladies? Oh, there was no lid? On account of the
poverty? Oh.
In happier news, writer and activist Eve Ensler is trying
to mobilize one billion dancers against violence today. And, unlike the
Grammys, Chris Brown was not invited.
Also in New York, a professor has created an algorithm that
he thinks will be able to reunite the “Missed Connections” people post on
Craigslist. It will not, however, be able to track the resulting STD outbreaks.
Disgraced Penn State coach and accused child molester Jerry
Sandusky was granted the right to see his grandchildren this week. Quick tip,
Jerry: See with your eyes, not with your hands.
And finally, Madonna called MIA’s bird-flipping stunt
during the Super Bowl halftime show "teenage and irrelevant." I’m
sure Madonna objected over the “teenage” part.
And that’s it! Enjoy your Valentine’s Day or relish your
bitter rejection of Valentine’s Day! See you tomorrow!
