Monday. Hmm. That's bad news for people who enjoy the weekend. Oh well. Let's see what we can do about it.
Here's something good. There was bad news for dictators this weekend, as former tyrant Hosni Mubarak suffered a stroke and/or coma while ex-Uruguayan dictator Bordaberry actually died. You know, these things normally happen in threes, so look out, Gadhaffi and Chavez! Which will it be? Bombs or tumors? Either way, the rest of us win.
In a related story, Colonel Gadhaffi said this weekend that he will never leave Libya. That could have something to do with the fact that no other country will let him in.
In London, former NewsCorp executive Rebekah Brooks just got arrested in connection with the News of the World phone hacking scandal. It's too bad News of the World folded, because this is the sort of story they live for. Also, they were handy to have around in case you ever forgot your PIN.
In Germany, organizers of the Quadriga Role Model award for human rights scrapped plans to award the prize to Vladimir Putin when it was revealed that he was, in fact, Vladimir Putin and not a great role model for encouraging human rights. See, it's a very fine distinction there. In Moscow, a steely-eyed Putin stared off into the western sky and ordered his assistant to procure more radioactive Polonium.
In Colorado, Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman started a bar fight because of course he did. He's probably just pissed that he'll never get the chance to battle Master Blaster in the Thunderdome.
Jane Fonda is back in the news, claiming that QVC has bumped her from their channel because of her history of political activism. The network said it was a routine programming change, adding "you really think we're in the business of booting people over politics? That would imply we have some sort of standards. Wanna buy a porcelain clown lipstick cozy?"
In cinema news, the Sarah Palin documentary opened in "wide" release this week. So far theaters have been mostly empty, much like the minds of the people who are actually in the audience. However, it is an instance where the film is better than the book. Also, it's pretty ballsy of them to go up against Harry Potter. Not a smart move.
And lastly, singers Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they are ending their marriage after seven years. The sad news has many people saying "oh yeah, Marc Anthony. I'd totally forgotten about him."
That's it! Not a single steroid joke today, although there might be one tomorrow. So come back and find out!
And until then, have a great day!
Here's something good. There was bad news for dictators this weekend, as former tyrant Hosni Mubarak suffered a stroke and/or coma while ex-Uruguayan dictator Bordaberry actually died. You know, these things normally happen in threes, so look out, Gadhaffi and Chavez! Which will it be? Bombs or tumors? Either way, the rest of us win.
In a related story, Colonel Gadhaffi said this weekend that he will never leave Libya. That could have something to do with the fact that no other country will let him in.
In London, former NewsCorp executive Rebekah Brooks just got arrested in connection with the News of the World phone hacking scandal. It's too bad News of the World folded, because this is the sort of story they live for. Also, they were handy to have around in case you ever forgot your PIN.
In Germany, organizers of the Quadriga Role Model award for human rights scrapped plans to award the prize to Vladimir Putin when it was revealed that he was, in fact, Vladimir Putin and not a great role model for encouraging human rights. See, it's a very fine distinction there. In Moscow, a steely-eyed Putin stared off into the western sky and ordered his assistant to procure more radioactive Polonium.
In Colorado, Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman started a bar fight because of course he did. He's probably just pissed that he'll never get the chance to battle Master Blaster in the Thunderdome.
Jane Fonda is back in the news, claiming that QVC has bumped her from their channel because of her history of political activism. The network said it was a routine programming change, adding "you really think we're in the business of booting people over politics? That would imply we have some sort of standards. Wanna buy a porcelain clown lipstick cozy?"
In cinema news, the Sarah Palin documentary opened in "wide" release this week. So far theaters have been mostly empty, much like the minds of the people who are actually in the audience. However, it is an instance where the film is better than the book. Also, it's pretty ballsy of them to go up against Harry Potter. Not a smart move.
And lastly, singers Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they are ending their marriage after seven years. The sad news has many people saying "oh yeah, Marc Anthony. I'd totally forgotten about him."
That's it! Not a single steroid joke today, although there might be one tomorrow. So come back and find out!
And until then, have a great day!
