Last night the season finale of The Bachelor aired, finally revealing the show's winner: everyone who watched something else.
Mitt Romney said this weekend that he's friends with the owners of the New York Jets and the Miami Dolphins, ignoring advice from his handlers to only associate with winners...
Speaking of winners, Yahoo! is suing Facebook for patent infringement. Apparently they caught wind of Facebook's new Stagnate and Become Irrelevant Division.
In an interview with Elle UK, Jon Hamm called Kim Kardashian stupid. Oh, I see what's going on. Jon likes her, but he's afraid to tell her... Classic.
In a related story: Why the hell is Jon Hamm going all Joaquin Phoenix in the pages of Elle UK? That sort of biting social commentary is really more at home in Norwegian Cosmo Girl.
Federal courts blocked or overturned new GOP-sponsored voter ID laws in Texas and Wisconsin. Lawmakers have proposed a new system, though. In stead of having to present an ID, brown people will simply have to guess a number between 1 and 1000.
And finally, a group of young Amish men were arrested for drunken buggy racing this weekend when one of them crashed his buggy into a police car.
...and this calls for another, PUNCHLINE SWARM! GO!!!!!
...This was actually a scene from the upcoming film, The Fast and the Forgiving.
... I just wonder, what was the horse drinking?
... They were on their way back from a night of carousing and debauchery at the local ankle bar.
... Too bad for them there was a Witness to the crash.
... Clearly, somewhere, someone just lost a bet.
... The man is part of a new road safety campaign. "Buckling up isn't just for hats"
... At least his insurance won't go up. Because the Amish can't buy insurance. Because it's against their religion.
... Still way more interesting than NASCAR.
Okay, that's it for today. Let's try again tomorrow! Till then, have a great day.
