The Senate just passed immigration reform. Meanwhile, the House of Representatives is doing it's best to make sure no one wants to move here.
Insiders report that Google is working on a gaming console. The flagship game is planned to be a puzzle game called "Give Us Your Credit Card Number."
Streaming music service Spotify just hired 130 engineers, which means that musicians can make money off the service, so long as they can program in Drupal.
NASA just launched a new satellite to observe the sun. It's mission includes testing new technology from Ray-Ban.
Also, it's a continuation of a project from Mississippi called "Go Outside and Stare at the Sun."
The Drug Enforcement Agency is cracking down on designer drugs, which is great news for people who buy their drugs at outlet stores.
The Cleveland Cavaliers used their Number One draft pick to get Anthony Bennet of UNLV. And since he's going to the Cavs, this will be the last time he gets to experience being number one.
And finally, new federal nutrition guidelines are going into effect to get junk food out of public schools across the country. But you can still teach Intelligent Design.
Have a great weekend!
Showing posts with label house of representatives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label house of representatives. Show all posts
Friday, June 28, 2013
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday Morning Monologue - September 27, 2011
Happy Tuesday! I had some Benadryl tonight, so I need to finish this befoer e;oahe; ks.
Okay, so here's 8 things you should know about the Congressional budget deal!
1. The plan includes sever funding cuts for FEMA; fortunately they have a rainy day fund.
2. The deal won't be passed this week, as the House is closed for Rosh Hashanah. Apparently the House of Representatives is part of Hollywood.
3. The proposed bill will keep the government running for the next six weeks, at which time surely all this partisan bickering will be over with.
4. The Senate initially rejected the deal due to their own internal split on the best way to destroy the country.
5. The cuts to FEMA will be balanced off with private funds, meaning that we will now have corporate branding for all future disasters. Get ready for Hurricane iPhone!
6. The plan includes a provision put in by Senate Republicans to garnish 100% of Harry Reid's lunch money, forever.
7. The congressional record of debate on this package now includes four hours of Mary Landrieu (D-LA) reciting "yo mamma" jokes directed toward Eric Cantor (R-VA).
8. The final deal includes $450 million to repair roads, but none that "poor people use."
That's all! Get yourself back here tomorrow, there will probably be more stuff like this waiting for you. That's all for now! Until then, have a great day!
Okay, so here's 8 things you should know about the Congressional budget deal!
1. The plan includes sever funding cuts for FEMA; fortunately they have a rainy day fund.
2. The deal won't be passed this week, as the House is closed for Rosh Hashanah. Apparently the House of Representatives is part of Hollywood.
3. The proposed bill will keep the government running for the next six weeks, at which time surely all this partisan bickering will be over with.
4. The Senate initially rejected the deal due to their own internal split on the best way to destroy the country.
5. The cuts to FEMA will be balanced off with private funds, meaning that we will now have corporate branding for all future disasters. Get ready for Hurricane iPhone!
6. The plan includes a provision put in by Senate Republicans to garnish 100% of Harry Reid's lunch money, forever.
7. The congressional record of debate on this package now includes four hours of Mary Landrieu (D-LA) reciting "yo mamma" jokes directed toward Eric Cantor (R-VA).
8. The final deal includes $450 million to repair roads, but none that "poor people use."
That's all! Get yourself back here tomorrow, there will probably be more stuff like this waiting for you. That's all for now! Until then, have a great day!
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