In Venezuela, a barber is keeping Hugo Chavez's revolution alive by giving free haircuts in the street. Unfortunately, it is Chavez's haircut, so she's not very popular with the ladies.
A recent evaluation of India's electrical grid found that over half of the population has no access to power. A spokesman for the government addressed the issue saying "that's nothing compared to the metaphorically powerless."
Microsoft just fixed a massive outage that brought down the Outlook program for offices around the country for three whole days. Or, as Outlook users called it: "the best three days ever."
Priceline.com stock nearly topped $1000 per share recently, but then people started naming their own price for shares, and it all went to hell from there.
In Bangkok, Thailand, police just seized $6 million worth of methamphetamines and Breaking Bad spoilers.
Saudi Arabia's government is warning western powers not to interfere in what's going on in Egypt because "those guys are making us look really good."
U.S. investigators are probing allegations that J.P. Morgan Chase hired the children of Chinese officials as a bribe for access to the country. So, on top of bribery, now it appears that Chase is engaging in child labor. Just awful, making children work in a bank...
And finally, New Zealand just held its first same-sex marriage ceremonies this weekend. Catering was provided by hobbits.
Is that it? Yes, for now.
Showing posts with label hobbit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hobbit. Show all posts
Monday, August 19, 2013
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Wednesday Morning Monologue - June 22, 2011
Happy Wednesday! Every day gets shorter from here on out! Yay, summer! Okay, that's really tiring. Whatever. It's hot. Here's some jokes.
Rapper and actor 50 Cent is writing an anti-bullying book for teens. It's called Quit Picking on that Kid, or I'll Beat You Up.
Prolific musical satirist Weird Al Yankovic released a parody of Lady Gaga this week, which is strange considering that Lady Gaga is now a parody of Lady Gaga.
In aviation news, Virgin Atlantic pilots announced they will go on strike. Air traffic controllers hailed the move, saying "does that mean we get another 15 minutes of sleep?" Ha ha ha, no, it doesn't.
Popular musician Britney Spears kicked off her summer tour this week, and one lucky man from the audience was treated to a lap dance on stage during one of the songs. On the downside though, the dance cost him $20 plus a $10 Ticketmaster surcharge.
Former Oasis bandleader Noel Gallagher is not inviting his brother Liam to his upcoming wedding. It makes sense, though, considering how much trouble it is just having one of those assholes at your wedding. No reason to punish yourself with both.
A young Emperor penguin turned up in New Zealand recently after swimming way, way off course. Veterinarians made sure the animal was in good health, and Peter Jackson immediately added him to the cast of The Hobbit.
Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, revealed this week that the characters on his show will age normally and graduate from high school on schedule. So, in that sense, the show is unlike real high schools.
Lastly, in Oregon, a small town dumped 8 million gallons of drinking water from a reservoir after a young man was caught peeing in it. At least he wasn't throwing in a burger from Jack in the Box. BOOM! CALLBACK!
That's all for now! See you again tomorrow!
Eat some fruit and have a great day!
Rapper and actor 50 Cent is writing an anti-bullying book for teens. It's called Quit Picking on that Kid, or I'll Beat You Up.
Prolific musical satirist Weird Al Yankovic released a parody of Lady Gaga this week, which is strange considering that Lady Gaga is now a parody of Lady Gaga.
In aviation news, Virgin Atlantic pilots announced they will go on strike. Air traffic controllers hailed the move, saying "does that mean we get another 15 minutes of sleep?" Ha ha ha, no, it doesn't.
Popular musician Britney Spears kicked off her summer tour this week, and one lucky man from the audience was treated to a lap dance on stage during one of the songs. On the downside though, the dance cost him $20 plus a $10 Ticketmaster surcharge.
Former Oasis bandleader Noel Gallagher is not inviting his brother Liam to his upcoming wedding. It makes sense, though, considering how much trouble it is just having one of those assholes at your wedding. No reason to punish yourself with both.
A young Emperor penguin turned up in New Zealand recently after swimming way, way off course. Veterinarians made sure the animal was in good health, and Peter Jackson immediately added him to the cast of The Hobbit.
Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, revealed this week that the characters on his show will age normally and graduate from high school on schedule. So, in that sense, the show is unlike real high schools.
Lastly, in Oregon, a small town dumped 8 million gallons of drinking water from a reservoir after a young man was caught peeing in it. At least he wasn't throwing in a burger from Jack in the Box. BOOM! CALLBACK!
That's all for now! See you again tomorrow!
Eat some fruit and have a great day!
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