In Mumbai, the offices of two Bollywood starlets were raided by income tax enforcement agents. Witnesses described the raid as having a great beat, catchy vocals and amazing choreography.
A Delta Airlines pilot was jailed this week for attempting to fly a plane with a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit for pilots. An industry spokesman clarified the issue, saying "yes, he was well-above the level of intoxication we're comfortable with in our pilots, and we've taken steps to correct the issue. So rest assured, when you fly, your pilot may be drunk, but he will be less drunk than this man. Probably. I mean, come on, no one's perfect."
Dr. Michael Kamrava, the fertility doctor who implanted an entire soccer team in the well-worn uterus of the "Octomom" has been convicted of gross negligence for his work in over-fertilizing Ms. Suleman. The doctor will be required to take a course on medical ethics and is strongly encouraged not to go "above and beyond" so much when it comes to shoving things into women's uteruses.
In London, four separate bicyclists have rented bikes and then crashed them into the vans that provided the bikes in the first place. The company has scrapped plans to open a similar operating for renting dogs.
In Israel, a 60-year-old woman was arrested for attempting to smuggle 44 iPhones into the country in what may be the most unlikely crime of the week. She argued that the phones were all for personal use, saying "this way, at least one will be able to get reception, right?"
In Cornwall, two 17-year-old girls drove a car over a 40-foot cliff and survived with minor injuries. Toonces has denied any involvement.
The horse "Mischief" lived up to his name this week when he left home and got trapped in a neighbor's swimming pool. Rescue crews freed the animal and reunited him with his happy owners. A less-joyful fate awaited his cousin "Dogfood," who wandered into the Purina factory.
Lastly, in other meat news, a consumer advocacy group sued Taco Bell, claiming that it's beef is only 36% beef. Taco Bell responded with a statement that read simply "Yeah. So what?"
That's it. Enjoy the other 64%.
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