Jokes on Friday!? WHY NOT!
Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled that President Obama's healthcare reform bill is, in fact, constitutional. Right? I didn't read the whole ruling, or an entire article about it, but I feel adequately informed to discuss its constitutionality. Right after I read the Constitution.
In other governments' news, Greece's new Finance Minister collapsed last week during his first day of work. It happened immediately after someone informed him that he was the Finance Minister in Greece.
Back in America, television host Ann Curry was paid a significant amount of money to stop working for the Today Show, proving again that NBC is great with money. No word yet on when her morning show on TBS is going to start.
By the way, NBC, I'm willing to not work for the Today Show for way less than she is.
Scientists are learning about early humans' diet from fossilized teeth from a two million year-old human. Among the startling foods found in the ancient teeth: bark, bugs, and the first Twinkie.
Speaking of old stuff, amateur archaeologists in the UK announced they have found over 50,000 ancient coins in the cushions of a very old sofa.
Back in America, roboticists built a robot programmed to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with 100% efficiency. Their findings will be published in an upcoming paper titled "Please Tell Us We Didn't Just Waste the Last Three Years of Our Lives."
In Zimbabwe, two self-confessed witches are set to undergo medical and psychological testing, as doctors fear they may be suffering from a mental illness. Their first clue? They claimed to be witches.
And finally, fans of the late lamented cult television favorite Firefly were treated to news that the stars of the show will reunite at this year's San Diego ComicCon. The reunion was promptly cancelled by Fox.
And that's how it goes.
Showing posts with label san diego comic con. Show all posts
Showing posts with label san diego comic con. Show all posts
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday Morning Monologue - February 7, 2011
Did anyone else spend last night watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix and forget that the Super Bowl was on? Nope? Just me? Okay. Well, let's have some jokes.
Bank of America announced that it has settled a class action lawsuit over abusive overdraft fees. The bank agreed to a $410 million settlement, although the company may get some of that money back if the checks bounce. Wait, that doesn't make sense.
In Iran, state television has banned all cooking shows that feature foreign recipes and cuisine. Now the Iranian people will never know who won this season of Top Chef. Experts say Tehran will be burning within a week.
In other television news, TNT is extending the final season of The Closer. They're also renaming it The Lingerer. In a shocking and related story, people are still watching The Closer.
Staying with television, Lauren Conrad is still angry at MTV for canceling her show. The reality star was livid, saying "THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!" An MTV spokesman explained, "we've got a new version of Teen Wolf coming this year, so we really don't need any more monsters on the network." MTV, to its credit, is attempting to provide better role models for its younger viewers, which is why they're bringing back Beavis & Butthead.
In other MTV news, The Situation may be leaving the cast of The Jersey Shore. Sources close to the show place the blame on the disruptive influence of his new girlfriend, Yoko Ono.
Lastly, Charlie Sheen said he wants to resume work this month. When asked to clarify his statement, Sheen said "oh, 'work' is my word for 'taking lots of drugs and partying with porn stars.' Sorry for any confusion."
That's it. Back to work, everyone.
In our top story, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak got some words of support from former Vice President Dick Cheney, who called Mubarak "a good friend." Mubarak responded by assuring the Egyptian people "I have no idea who that is."
Tickets went on sale this weekend for the San Diego Comic Con, and the sudden spike in traffic crashed the company's website. A spokesman for the event said "we're trying like hell, but we just can't seem to find anyone on staff who understands computers! We need geeks, but all we've got are nerds!"Bank of America announced that it has settled a class action lawsuit over abusive overdraft fees. The bank agreed to a $410 million settlement, although the company may get some of that money back if the checks bounce. Wait, that doesn't make sense.
In Iran, state television has banned all cooking shows that feature foreign recipes and cuisine. Now the Iranian people will never know who won this season of Top Chef. Experts say Tehran will be burning within a week.
In other television news, TNT is extending the final season of The Closer. They're also renaming it The Lingerer. In a shocking and related story, people are still watching The Closer.
Staying with television, Lauren Conrad is still angry at MTV for canceling her show. The reality star was livid, saying "THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!" An MTV spokesman explained, "we've got a new version of Teen Wolf coming this year, so we really don't need any more monsters on the network." MTV, to its credit, is attempting to provide better role models for its younger viewers, which is why they're bringing back Beavis & Butthead.
In other MTV news, The Situation may be leaving the cast of The Jersey Shore. Sources close to the show place the blame on the disruptive influence of his new girlfriend, Yoko Ono.
Lastly, Charlie Sheen said he wants to resume work this month. When asked to clarify his statement, Sheen said "oh, 'work' is my word for 'taking lots of drugs and partying with porn stars.' Sorry for any confusion."
That's it. Back to work, everyone.
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