Archaeologists revealed evidence recently that French winemaking actually comes from Italy. Still no word on where they got the arrogance.
A new study out of California indicates that a vegetarian diet can prolong lives. Although most of those lives are cows, pigs, and chickens.
Internet gaming company Zynga just laid off a third of their workforce. Which explains their latest batch of games: JOB HUNTER, Let's Collect: Unemployment, and the new tower-defense hit Mom's Basement. Also, the recently unemployed programmers are now hard at work on an actual farm. So they can eat.
Will and Jaden Smith's sci-fi adventure After Earth is struggling at the box office, which may explain why Will Smith posted a casting call looking for a new son. Ouch.
In Mississippi, indictments were unsealed in the case of the recent ricin attacks against the President. However, court was adjourned early when the judge discovered the indictments themselves contained ricin.
Blind advocates are up in arms over the CAPTCHA technology used to verify human presence on the Internet. Also angry: people who like to leave drunk comments on websites.
President Obama called for tougher sanctions against Iran, specifically their auto industry, leading many to speculate that Iran may have a secret automotive industry.
And finally, Michael Douglass said that oral sex can cause throat cancer. It's all part of his plan to make every man in the world hate him.
That's all.
Showing posts with label will smith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label will smith. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Wednesday Morning Monologue - August 24, 2011
It's about time this week had a Wednesday. I'm trying out a new deodorant, and I'm very emotionally invested, so keep your fingers crossed! In the meantime, laugh it up.
Tropical Storm Irene was downgraded on Monday from a Category 2 to a Category 1 storm. Turns out that Irene also supported President Obama's financial regulatory reforms. S&P has gone mad with power. MAAAAAD!!!!
In other disaster news, the east coast was struck by a 5.8 magnitude earthquake, centered in Mineral, Virginia. It was is the result of shifting between tectonic plates, but New York district attorneys are already blaming Nafissatou Diallo for the disturbance.
The quake is similar to earthquakes on the west coast, except it has a better theater scene, wears more black, and never learned how to drive. Oh, New York City is different from Los Angeles! Cutting edge comedy from 1987!
Okay, so there was an earthquake, and a tropical storm is threatening to land on the east coast. What else could go wrong? What's that? Oh, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are moving back? Great. It's like Cloverfield all over again.
In Libya, rebel forces captured Colonel Gadhafi's compound while the Colonel went into hiding. It's like the most dramatic episode of Trading Spaces ever.
An Alaskan mother was arrested for abusing her son in order to get onto the Dr. Phil show, which is strange considering that watching Dr. Phil is considered child abuse.
In other news, former President Bill Clinton became a vegan recently, proving it's never too late to become insufferable. HA! Kidding. Veganism is awesome.
And finally, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett denied rumors they were splitting up. "That's just crazy," Smith said, "unlike Scientology, which is totally cool. Have you read Dianetics? There's some awesome stuff about spaceships in there."
And... scene. More tomorrow? Yes, and then some other stuff, too!
Till then, have a great day!
Tropical Storm Irene was downgraded on Monday from a Category 2 to a Category 1 storm. Turns out that Irene also supported President Obama's financial regulatory reforms. S&P has gone mad with power. MAAAAAD!!!!
In other disaster news, the east coast was struck by a 5.8 magnitude earthquake, centered in Mineral, Virginia. It was is the result of shifting between tectonic plates, but New York district attorneys are already blaming Nafissatou Diallo for the disturbance.
The quake is similar to earthquakes on the west coast, except it has a better theater scene, wears more black, and never learned how to drive. Oh, New York City is different from Los Angeles! Cutting edge comedy from 1987!
Okay, so there was an earthquake, and a tropical storm is threatening to land on the east coast. What else could go wrong? What's that? Oh, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are moving back? Great. It's like Cloverfield all over again.
In Libya, rebel forces captured Colonel Gadhafi's compound while the Colonel went into hiding. It's like the most dramatic episode of Trading Spaces ever.
An Alaskan mother was arrested for abusing her son in order to get onto the Dr. Phil show, which is strange considering that watching Dr. Phil is considered child abuse.
In other news, former President Bill Clinton became a vegan recently, proving it's never too late to become insufferable. HA! Kidding. Veganism is awesome.
And finally, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett denied rumors they were splitting up. "That's just crazy," Smith said, "unlike Scientology, which is totally cool. Have you read Dianetics? There's some awesome stuff about spaceships in there."
And... scene. More tomorrow? Yes, and then some other stuff, too!
Till then, have a great day!
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