With the threat of war in Syria looming, the Pentagon is struggling to prepare ground troops for the horrors they would encounter in a hellish, bombed out urban landscape that has been utterly betrayed and devastated by its government. So they're sending the troops to Detroit for a week.
Speaking of Syria, the New York Times website was brought down again yesterday. The publisher blamed malicious attacks from supporters of the Assad regime, but it's more likely that people really just hate Maureen Dowd.
George Zimmerman wants the State of Florida to pay him $200,000 for his recent legal defense. And they should pay it if that's what it takes to keep him from murdering anyone else.
In Minnesota, a young man woke up on a camping trip to find a wolf biting his head and trying to eat him. After coming face to face with the predator, the man said he felt so threatened it must be what a woman feels like when Robin Thicke is around.
Scientists have found evidence for a new element with an atomic weight of 115. As is tradition, the element will be named after its discoverer. So all hail "Nerdium."
Wal-Mart will start offering same-sex couples the same health plan as heterosexual couples, which is to say, they will continue to offer them nothing.
The U.S. Treasury announced a printing error in making $100 bills may end up costing taxpayers $4 million. Too bad they can't find any money to deal with it.
And finally, scientists believe broccoli may slow the progression of arthritis, leading to speculation that arthritis hates the smell of farts.
Showing posts with label robin thicke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label robin thicke. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Thursday Morning Monologue - August 8, 2013
Chris Brown announced he may retire from music after his next album. He will not be retiring from being a giant rage monster.
NASA's Curiosity rover sang "Happy Birthday" to itself yesterday by vibrating pipes it normally uses for soil collection. Warner Brothers immediately sent a cease and desist order.
And you thought your birthday was sad.
Groupon just announced a new CEO. They're getting him for 80% off, but tax and gratuity are not included.
Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" has topped the charts. Now if only the models in his video could get tops, too.
A diplomatic rift is growing between Vladimir Putin and President Obama over a snub by the President yesterday in response to Edward Snowden being granted asylum in Russia. Thank goodness President Obama didn't accidentally date Putin's ex-girlfriend, or there could be some real drama.
An American tourist in Europe broke the finger off of a 600-year-old statue of the Virgin Mary when he tried to compare his hand size to hers. "I'm sorry," the man said, "but I just had to see if I had a bigger dick than the Virgin Mary."
Real estate valuing service Zillow.com saw it's stock price tumble this week. Early estimates have the company losing 10% of its value, but that's just the county assessor's report. If you really want to know how much value they lost, you'll need to buy a detailed report.
And finally, San Diego mayor Bob Filner just got his sexual harassment lawsuit deposition delayed. Filner was so happy that he couldn't stop rubbing his dick on people.
And that's all!
NASA's Curiosity rover sang "Happy Birthday" to itself yesterday by vibrating pipes it normally uses for soil collection. Warner Brothers immediately sent a cease and desist order.
And you thought your birthday was sad.
Groupon just announced a new CEO. They're getting him for 80% off, but tax and gratuity are not included.
Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" has topped the charts. Now if only the models in his video could get tops, too.
A diplomatic rift is growing between Vladimir Putin and President Obama over a snub by the President yesterday in response to Edward Snowden being granted asylum in Russia. Thank goodness President Obama didn't accidentally date Putin's ex-girlfriend, or there could be some real drama.
An American tourist in Europe broke the finger off of a 600-year-old statue of the Virgin Mary when he tried to compare his hand size to hers. "I'm sorry," the man said, "but I just had to see if I had a bigger dick than the Virgin Mary."
Real estate valuing service Zillow.com saw it's stock price tumble this week. Early estimates have the company losing 10% of its value, but that's just the county assessor's report. If you really want to know how much value they lost, you'll need to buy a detailed report.
And finally, San Diego mayor Bob Filner just got his sexual harassment lawsuit deposition delayed. Filner was so happy that he couldn't stop rubbing his dick on people.
And that's all!
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