Chris Brown announced he may retire from music after his next album. He will not be retiring from being a giant rage monster.
NASA's Curiosity rover sang "Happy Birthday" to itself yesterday by vibrating pipes it normally uses for soil collection. Warner Brothers immediately sent a cease and desist order.
And you thought your birthday was sad.
Groupon just announced a new CEO. They're getting him for 80% off, but tax and gratuity are not included.
Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" has topped the charts. Now if only the models in his video could get tops, too.
A diplomatic rift is growing between Vladimir Putin and President Obama over a snub by the President yesterday in response to Edward Snowden being granted asylum in Russia. Thank goodness President Obama didn't accidentally date Putin's ex-girlfriend, or there could be some real drama.
An American tourist in Europe broke the finger off of a 600-year-old statue of the Virgin Mary when he tried to compare his hand size to hers. "I'm sorry," the man said, "but I just had to see if I had a bigger dick than the Virgin Mary."
Real estate valuing service Zillow.com saw it's stock price tumble this week. Early estimates have the company losing 10% of its value, but that's just the county assessor's report. If you really want to know how much value they lost, you'll need to buy a detailed report.
And finally, San Diego mayor Bob Filner just got his sexual harassment lawsuit deposition delayed. Filner was so happy that he couldn't stop rubbing his dick on people.
And that's all!
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