Tonight is the third and final Presidential debate. What should you be on the lookout for?
* Flashmob of streakers, led by Vice President Joe Biden.
* Either candidate can win an extra fifty dollars if they manage to say the secret word.
* Bob Schieffer's surprisingly vice-like handshake with each candidate before hand, couple with the admonition that he's "not taking any Lehrer shit."
* Gov. Romney promised to hold off on any lies until after the President falls asleep.
* Neither candidate will be allowed to "Pass" a question, although they will be granted one "phone a friend."
* Neither candidate wants to be the first to suggest that they not talk about gun laws.
* All answers given in the final "Lightning Round" will be legally binding.
And that's it!
See you tomorrow!
Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Thursday Morning Monologue - October 4, 2012
Fire the jokes!
Detroit Tigers' Third Baseman Miguel Cabrera succeeding in winning Baseball's first "triple crown" since 1967. The Tigers announced they will put him out to stud.
A huge marijuana field was found yesterday in south Chicago. It came to the attention of authorities when the owners applied for government farm subsidies.
Thanks a lot, Obama!
Speaking of Obama, he and Mitt Romney debated last night. Jim Lehrer is rumored to have attended.
At the debate, Romney said that he loved Big Bird, but would cut funding to PBS if elected. To clarify, he does *not* love oil, coal, or hedge funds.
The debate was the most tweeted event in U.S. political history, barely surpassing the famed Kitten/Puppy convention of 2009.
In a related story, undecided voters are unlikely to come to a decision on the election after watching last night's debate, mainly because it was not conducted with sock puppets.
Undecided voters in October are kinda dumb.
In Germany, a liquor company is selling bottles of booze that have been poured over the breasts of nude and lingerie models before bottling. IHOP is offering a similar deal with their syrups, except instead of lingerie models, they have a hairy dude named "Sal."
And finally, authorities in Michigan announced that Jimmy Hoffa's remains were not found in a Detroit driveway this week. Can you say the same thing for your home?
CAN YOU!?
Later.
Detroit Tigers' Third Baseman Miguel Cabrera succeeding in winning Baseball's first "triple crown" since 1967. The Tigers announced they will put him out to stud.
A huge marijuana field was found yesterday in south Chicago. It came to the attention of authorities when the owners applied for government farm subsidies.
Thanks a lot, Obama!
Speaking of Obama, he and Mitt Romney debated last night. Jim Lehrer is rumored to have attended.
At the debate, Romney said that he loved Big Bird, but would cut funding to PBS if elected. To clarify, he does *not* love oil, coal, or hedge funds.
The debate was the most tweeted event in U.S. political history, barely surpassing the famed Kitten/Puppy convention of 2009.
In a related story, undecided voters are unlikely to come to a decision on the election after watching last night's debate, mainly because it was not conducted with sock puppets.
Undecided voters in October are kinda dumb.
In Germany, a liquor company is selling bottles of booze that have been poured over the breasts of nude and lingerie models before bottling. IHOP is offering a similar deal with their syrups, except instead of lingerie models, they have a hairy dude named "Sal."
And finally, authorities in Michigan announced that Jimmy Hoffa's remains were not found in a Detroit driveway this week. Can you say the same thing for your home?
CAN YOU!?
Later.
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