Welcome back to the 21st Century! Did you all have fun with your hilarious history trip yesterday? I sure hope so! Since I can write those things in advance, it means I can take a night off, so you'll be visiting another hilarious year next week, too. Twenty-three-skidoo! Okay, here's some "current" jokes for you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's oldest daughter (that we know of) said in an interview this week that she is "way closer" to Maria. I'm sure Arnold was bummed out, until he realized that he can just have another daughter. In fact, he probably already has.
On Tuesday, an ebook about Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was released, unlike Assange who is in jail! Wait, what? He got out. You'd think someone would have mentioned it. Oh, and blah blah blah hackers brought down Amazon.com... with book orders!
As part of an effort to stop prisoners from issuing online threats while in prison, Facebook is now deleting prisoner profiles. But they can keep their Myspace page.
Bad news from science. It seems that a strain of European mice has developed a resistance to most poisons. The so-called super mice are vulnerable to only two things: mouse Kryptonite, and shoes.
In The Day The Music Died news, Wal-Mart is closing its MP3 store. This is terrible news for all the old guys who worked as greeters for the web store. Maybe Napster will hire them. Because it's old, too.
The hacker group "Anonymous" issued a threat to Facebook, saying they'll bring the site down on November 5th, or as I call it "the day I'll have to actually do my job."
You guys remember China? Chinese artist, dissident and critic Ai Weiwei, recently released from Chinese prison for being ornery, has resumed his vocal criticism of the Chinese government, because he apparently left his lucky toothbrush back in the prison.
And lastly, LeAnn Rimes had her wedding vows turned into a temporary tattoo last week. It's a fitting tribute to the institution of marriage, and how temporary it becomes once LeAnn Rimes gets involved.
That's it! Love it or leave it, people. Feel free to nominate your favorite year for the next Way Back Wednesday. Spencer is in tomorrow, and I'll be back Monday. So rejoice!
And have a great day!
Showing posts with label leann rimes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label leann rimes. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Welcome back to your week, you happy people! Wait, it's Monday. You can switch out "happy" in that sentence for whatever suits your fancy today. There, at least something is going your way.
Okay, here's something, I think. Musicians and nerds in Japan have created a completely synthetic pop-star named Hatsune Miku. She's completely fake, which has me wondering if she isn't a Simpson sister.
Speaking of fake, did you hear about "A Gay Girl in Damascus?" The popular blog told the story of a gay woman in Syria who was supposedly abducted by the authorities. After a massive Internet campaign demanding her release, the author of the blog, Tom MacMaster, came forward and admitted the hoax. It's a good thing Oprah already retired. MacMaster did apologize, though, for tricking people into caring about the middle-east.
Speaking of unlikely, Alaska released 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin's emails last week. Early reports indicate she was "surprised" to be chosen as the VP candidate in 2008. Of course, she strikes me as the kind of person to be surprised by toast popping up, so maybe that's not a great indicator. Also surprising: the number of emails discussing American Idol.
In Arizona, residents are being allowed back into their homes in the wake of the recent wildfires, or as Arizonans are calling them "that cold snap."
In New York, voters are staging anti-Weiner rallies. I'm sure there's a cheap Indigo Girls joke in there, but I won't make it. Instead, I'll just mention the rallies were headlined by Wanda Sykes and Teagan & Sara. BOOM! UPDATED!
In fashion news, country singer LeAnn Rimes got a new haircut this weekend, chopping off several inches from her hair. The singer explained "it was making me feel fat. Okay, I've gotta go do some crunches. Problem? No, I don't have body-issues! Why would you say that? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Seriously, someone's got to make her eat some donuts.
And lastly, friends and family of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords posted new photos of the smiling Congresswoman on Facebook. And not a single photo showed her genitals. Are you taking notes, Congress?
Okay, that's all for now. I can't believe there were two Weiner jokes. I'm as ashamed as you are. Okay, I've gotta go. Have a great day, and don't forget your sunblock!
Okay, here's something, I think. Musicians and nerds in Japan have created a completely synthetic pop-star named Hatsune Miku. She's completely fake, which has me wondering if she isn't a Simpson sister.
Speaking of fake, did you hear about "A Gay Girl in Damascus?" The popular blog told the story of a gay woman in Syria who was supposedly abducted by the authorities. After a massive Internet campaign demanding her release, the author of the blog, Tom MacMaster, came forward and admitted the hoax. It's a good thing Oprah already retired. MacMaster did apologize, though, for tricking people into caring about the middle-east.
In a related story, the U.S. State Department is preparing secret technological aid packages for dissidents to use to get information out when their governments start cracking down on protests and reform movements. Or, we could just quit selling tanks and guns to their dictators. You know, whichever is easiest, I guess.
Speaking of unlikely, Alaska released 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin's emails last week. Early reports indicate she was "surprised" to be chosen as the VP candidate in 2008. Of course, she strikes me as the kind of person to be surprised by toast popping up, so maybe that's not a great indicator. Also surprising: the number of emails discussing American Idol.
In Arizona, residents are being allowed back into their homes in the wake of the recent wildfires, or as Arizonans are calling them "that cold snap."
In New York, voters are staging anti-Weiner rallies. I'm sure there's a cheap Indigo Girls joke in there, but I won't make it. Instead, I'll just mention the rallies were headlined by Wanda Sykes and Teagan & Sara. BOOM! UPDATED!
In fashion news, country singer LeAnn Rimes got a new haircut this weekend, chopping off several inches from her hair. The singer explained "it was making me feel fat. Okay, I've gotta go do some crunches. Problem? No, I don't have body-issues! Why would you say that? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Seriously, someone's got to make her eat some donuts.
And lastly, friends and family of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords posted new photos of the smiling Congresswoman on Facebook. And not a single photo showed her genitals. Are you taking notes, Congress?
Okay, that's all for now. I can't believe there were two Weiner jokes. I'm as ashamed as you are. Okay, I've gotta go. Have a great day, and don't forget your sunblock!
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