Former Congressman and NYC Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner was involved in fender-bender Saturday morning. Three women have already come forward to say he was on his phone at the time, sending them pictures of the "gear shift," if you know what I mean.
Justin Timberlake won big at the Video Music Awards this weekend. He also made Joan Rivers' "Best Dressed List" thanks to how he cleverly accessorized his outfit with an old, kitschy boy band.
Also at the VMAs, rapper Eminem took the opportunity to announce his upcoming album, Hey, Remember Eminem? Come On, He's Still Cool!
In Scotland, tickets to the annual Fringe comedy festival were up by 5% over year, raising attendance to a record-high 21 people.
JC Penney's largest investor has bailed out, saying that things for the company were getting ugly. And for JC Penney's biggest investor, you know things have to get pretty ugly for him to have a problem.
The New York Attorney General is suing Donald Trump for running a bogus university that served as a pyramid scheme for the famous douchebag. Fortunately, the Donald Trump School of Hair Design will not be affected.
Starbucks announced it will soon be opening a location in Colombia, where eager customers are already lining up to have their names mispronounced.
And finally, health clubs are offering trampolines as part of group fitness classes. It's great for muscle tone, but you have to pay extra for the "We'll Set Your Broken Bones" package. Stupid upcharges.
Showing posts with label justin timberlake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label justin timberlake. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Monday Morning Monologue - September 10, 2012
Hey, sorry. Stepped outside to take the trash out, and wouldn't you know I left my keys inside. I've been locked out all week. Did anything happen? Oh, man. Okay, let's get back to this.
Clint Eastwood tried to explain his bizarre speech at the Republican National Convention by saying that talking to an empty chair was no different than his experience acting alongside Justin Timberlake.
Over the weekend, a tornado touched down in Brooklyn and Queens, New York, because Manhattan is too crowded and expensive.
Steven Tyler was spotted on a nude beach in Maui, or else someone captured an old dried up jellyfish and shoved it on the end of a broomstick.
Rev. Jesse Jackson said that his son, recuperating from psychiatric treatment, shouldn't rush back to Congress. Instead, Rev. Jackson suggested his son do something more useful with his time. Like Sudoku.
Zoologists in San Diego were able to determine the gender of panda cub this week. They asked the panda how it was feeling, and after half an hour... wonk, wonk, wonk. Ladies like to talk about their feelings!
The Syrian government criticized France's decision to support Syrian rebels, saying that France was undermining the U.N. envoy, which is ridiculous because the envoy is already useless.
Tennessee and AT&T are teaming up for testing a 911 text service, so you can send for help and cause a car accident at the same time.
And finally, a Los Angeles court ruled that the city cannot confiscate and destroy homeless people's belongings without just cause. The city vowed to appeal the decision in the case of "City of Los Angeles v. Human Decency."
That's all for now. But I bet more stuff will need to be made fun of tomorrow.
Clint Eastwood tried to explain his bizarre speech at the Republican National Convention by saying that talking to an empty chair was no different than his experience acting alongside Justin Timberlake.
Over the weekend, a tornado touched down in Brooklyn and Queens, New York, because Manhattan is too crowded and expensive.
Steven Tyler was spotted on a nude beach in Maui, or else someone captured an old dried up jellyfish and shoved it on the end of a broomstick.
Rev. Jesse Jackson said that his son, recuperating from psychiatric treatment, shouldn't rush back to Congress. Instead, Rev. Jackson suggested his son do something more useful with his time. Like Sudoku.
Zoologists in San Diego were able to determine the gender of panda cub this week. They asked the panda how it was feeling, and after half an hour... wonk, wonk, wonk. Ladies like to talk about their feelings!
The Syrian government criticized France's decision to support Syrian rebels, saying that France was undermining the U.N. envoy, which is ridiculous because the envoy is already useless.
Tennessee and AT&T are teaming up for testing a 911 text service, so you can send for help and cause a car accident at the same time.
And finally, a Los Angeles court ruled that the city cannot confiscate and destroy homeless people's belongings without just cause. The city vowed to appeal the decision in the case of "City of Los Angeles v. Human Decency."
That's all for now. But I bet more stuff will need to be made fun of tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)