The Guardian newspaper revealed former CIA person Edward Snowden leaked the documents about PRISM. He's single, 29, enjoys Italian food and whistle blowing, and he's single, ladies! Wait, is he actually single? If only there were some way we could get a bunch more information about him...
In other PRISM news, the British intelligence service GCHQ used data collected by the NSA in maintaining national security in the UK. So now we're even for The Office coming to America.
AT&T announced this weekend that they will be raising the eligibility requirement for phone upgrades to a 24-month term. However, you're still immediately eligible for NSA surveillance.
Newark Mayor Cory Booker announced he will be running for the Senate, because after Newark not even the Senate seems dysfunctional.
In charity news, a lunch for eight people with financier Warren Buffett just sold on eBay for $1million. Still no takers on his offer to be hunted like a wild animal for $10million.
In entertainment news, horror/thriller The Purge topped the box office, surprising many industry insiders due to its risky inclusion of Ethan Hawke.
In other entertainment news, actor Russell Crowe said recently that he felt "stuck" in his costume for the upcoming Man of Steel film, and that the biggest challenge was not being able to use the bathroom for eight hours at a time. Apparently Lord Crowe is too fancy to soil himself like the rest of us.
And in Iranian politics, the upcoming presidential election has many wondering who will take over for outgoing President Ahmadinejad. Coming in last in the polls, to no surprise, the Zionist party. Meanwhile, Fox News anchors have finally managed to learn how to pronounce Ahmadinejad.
And finally, in response to anti-government rallies, Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan said this weekend that "there is an end to patience," before adding "wait, are you guys going to put that on my tombstone?"
That's it! Tomorrow will be better.
Showing posts with label ahmadinejad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ahmadinejad. Show all posts
Monday, June 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Thursday Morning Monologue - August 4, 2011
Great. Let's do this.
Big drug news in the U.K. this week, as authorities intercepted a yacht with over a ton of cocaine on board. A visibly distraught Charlie Sheen said "Wait, was it white with blue pinstripes?! Oh, shit. This weekend is gonna suck now."
Meanwhile, political reforms continue in Cuba, as a new law passed allowing Cubans to purchase homes. Now, if only there was a law that allowed them to have some money.
A recent story about the deficient IQs of web-surfers who use Microsoft Internet Explorer story was a hoax meant to ridicule people for using the outdated browser. Fortunately, most IE users are too dumb to know it.
Congress adjourned for the summer, leaving the Federal Aviation Administration unfunded and unable to effectively manage American air travel. Apparently everyone in Congress will be driving home this summer.
Back to the Internet, Missouri recently passed a law banning teachers from communicating with their students over Facebook, much to the disappointment of that one math teacher you had. You know who I'm talking about.
In international police news, a worldwide child pornography ring was shut down this week, and over 70 people were arrested, much to the disappointment of that one... yeah, you know.
In crazy dictator news, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez shaved his head this week, calling it his "new look." He then went on to add, "and the curtains match the carpet, ladies."
And lastly, in other crazy dictator news, Iranian "leader" Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said in an interview this week, "When we say we don't want to build an atomic bomb it means we really do not want to build an atomic bomb," adding "WINK!"
That's it for me this week! I'll see you Monday, and Spencer will be here tomorrow!
Till then, have a great day!
Big drug news in the U.K. this week, as authorities intercepted a yacht with over a ton of cocaine on board. A visibly distraught Charlie Sheen said "Wait, was it white with blue pinstripes?! Oh, shit. This weekend is gonna suck now."
Meanwhile, political reforms continue in Cuba, as a new law passed allowing Cubans to purchase homes. Now, if only there was a law that allowed them to have some money.
A recent story about the deficient IQs of web-surfers who use Microsoft Internet Explorer story was a hoax meant to ridicule people for using the outdated browser. Fortunately, most IE users are too dumb to know it.
Congress adjourned for the summer, leaving the Federal Aviation Administration unfunded and unable to effectively manage American air travel. Apparently everyone in Congress will be driving home this summer.
Back to the Internet, Missouri recently passed a law banning teachers from communicating with their students over Facebook, much to the disappointment of that one math teacher you had. You know who I'm talking about.
In international police news, a worldwide child pornography ring was shut down this week, and over 70 people were arrested, much to the disappointment of that one... yeah, you know.
In crazy dictator news, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez shaved his head this week, calling it his "new look." He then went on to add, "and the curtains match the carpet, ladies."
And lastly, in other crazy dictator news, Iranian "leader" Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said in an interview this week, "When we say we don't want to build an atomic bomb it means we really do not want to build an atomic bomb," adding "WINK!"
That's it for me this week! I'll see you Monday, and Spencer will be here tomorrow!
Till then, have a great day!
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