I sure hope you don't waste today sitting around, staring at a stupid screen all day. Unless you're reading my blog, of course. Jokes commencing!
A source close to Nadya "Octomom" Suleman revealed that she and her new boyfriend "haven't been intimate" yet. At least she hasn't felt anything yet.
Militant Islamists in Mali are destroying tombs, mosques and other archaeological treasures in the ancient city of Timbuktu as part of their policy of "being total assholes."
A recent medical study shows that coffee might help prevent skin cancer, but the downside is that will still give you third degree burns.
The remote town of Bethel, Alaska, was treated to a free feast of Taco Bell this weekend after a hoax circulated around town that the restaurant was moving into the area. The residents were treated to a meal of 10,000 tacos, made with 300 pounds of lettuce, 150 pounds of cheese, 500 pounds of sour cream, 300 pounds of tomatoes and almost 10 pounds of USDA ground beef. There's an equation there to calculate the amount of diarrhea produced by the town, but this blog is too classy for that sort of thing.
Singer/songwriter Lauryn Hill pleaded guilty to tax evasion yesterday, but with a smooth soulful sound rarely heard in courtrooms. Her plea agreement is certain to gold.
In Scotland, a nutritionist has created what he considers to be the first nutritious pizza in the country, which probably means he just took regular pizza, added a some tripe and boiled it.
Net Applications reports that Microsoft's Internet Explorer has more than half of the web browser market, because old people still surf the web.
And finally, tiny dictatorship Myanmar plans a second airport in the city of Yangon, giving citizens another way to not be able to leave the country.
Now go have a great day! Turn the computer off! (right after you email this to your friends, of course)
Showing posts with label internet explorer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet explorer. Show all posts
Monday, July 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Thursday Morning Monologue - August 4, 2011
Great. Let's do this.
Big drug news in the U.K. this week, as authorities intercepted a yacht with over a ton of cocaine on board. A visibly distraught Charlie Sheen said "Wait, was it white with blue pinstripes?! Oh, shit. This weekend is gonna suck now."
Meanwhile, political reforms continue in Cuba, as a new law passed allowing Cubans to purchase homes. Now, if only there was a law that allowed them to have some money.
A recent story about the deficient IQs of web-surfers who use Microsoft Internet Explorer story was a hoax meant to ridicule people for using the outdated browser. Fortunately, most IE users are too dumb to know it.
Congress adjourned for the summer, leaving the Federal Aviation Administration unfunded and unable to effectively manage American air travel. Apparently everyone in Congress will be driving home this summer.
Back to the Internet, Missouri recently passed a law banning teachers from communicating with their students over Facebook, much to the disappointment of that one math teacher you had. You know who I'm talking about.
In international police news, a worldwide child pornography ring was shut down this week, and over 70 people were arrested, much to the disappointment of that one... yeah, you know.
In crazy dictator news, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez shaved his head this week, calling it his "new look." He then went on to add, "and the curtains match the carpet, ladies."
And lastly, in other crazy dictator news, Iranian "leader" Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said in an interview this week, "When we say we don't want to build an atomic bomb it means we really do not want to build an atomic bomb," adding "WINK!"
That's it for me this week! I'll see you Monday, and Spencer will be here tomorrow!
Till then, have a great day!
Big drug news in the U.K. this week, as authorities intercepted a yacht with over a ton of cocaine on board. A visibly distraught Charlie Sheen said "Wait, was it white with blue pinstripes?! Oh, shit. This weekend is gonna suck now."
Meanwhile, political reforms continue in Cuba, as a new law passed allowing Cubans to purchase homes. Now, if only there was a law that allowed them to have some money.
A recent story about the deficient IQs of web-surfers who use Microsoft Internet Explorer story was a hoax meant to ridicule people for using the outdated browser. Fortunately, most IE users are too dumb to know it.
Congress adjourned for the summer, leaving the Federal Aviation Administration unfunded and unable to effectively manage American air travel. Apparently everyone in Congress will be driving home this summer.
Back to the Internet, Missouri recently passed a law banning teachers from communicating with their students over Facebook, much to the disappointment of that one math teacher you had. You know who I'm talking about.
In international police news, a worldwide child pornography ring was shut down this week, and over 70 people were arrested, much to the disappointment of that one... yeah, you know.
In crazy dictator news, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez shaved his head this week, calling it his "new look." He then went on to add, "and the curtains match the carpet, ladies."
And lastly, in other crazy dictator news, Iranian "leader" Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said in an interview this week, "When we say we don't want to build an atomic bomb it means we really do not want to build an atomic bomb," adding "WINK!"
That's it for me this week! I'll see you Monday, and Spencer will be here tomorrow!
Till then, have a great day!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tuesday Morning Monologue - January 4, 2011
Alright, let's get to it.
Kim Kardashian performed her new single at a New Years Eve party, ensuring that whatever else happens in music throughout the course of the year, it will be an improvement.
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