Alright, let's get to it.
In England, a major marijuana "factory" was uncovered and put out of business this weekend. While it's good news for law enforcement, it's terrible news for the multiple late night pizza places operating in the area.
A Minnesota bar showed its support for the Green Bay Packers this weekend by roasting and serving an entire bear, as the Packers played the Chicago Bears in the NFL playoffs. It's a good thing they weren't playing the Orphans.
In France, the French Chess Federation has accused three top players of cheating during the last Chess Olympiad. Lance Armstrong has preemptively denied any involvement.
This weekend Mitt Romney won a Presidential straw poll among Republicans in New Hampshire, confirming that the whiter people get, the more they love Mitt Romney.
A new poll in Russia is asking the people what should be done with the preserved body of Lenin, which has been on display for decades in Moscow. NBC has already made an offer to give the corpse its own late night show, saying "hey, he's already got an audience. Is he funny? We're not in a position to quibble about that."
If given permission, Wal-Mart may be building a store on the site of a civil war battlefield in Virginia, leading to some of the most haunted bargains available to shoppers. Also, if Wal-Mart really likes to build on the sites of horrible massacres, then we're about to see a lot of Iraqi Super-Centers.
The U.S. State Department announced it plans to embrace Twitter and other social networking technologies as part of ongoing diplomatic work, which means we'll soon find out what emoticon best says "sorry we launched a hellfire missile drone strike in your country."
Lastly, MTV vowed to support its new program Skins despite claims from some that it violates federal child pornography laws. The show is already getting huge ratings from 45-year-old men who used to watch Hannah Montana.
That's it.
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