Fridays with Spencer: French Canadians... really?

What a week. Did you TiVo the royal wedding? Was that this week? Who gives a care?

Syria arrested at least 500 pro-democracy sympathizers Monday. Speaker of the House John Boehner was rumored to have asked if we can to that here.

New Census figures show that more American women than men have completed college and hold advanced degrees. An unnamed feminist with a PhD in Women's Studies said, "Girls rule, boys drool." Fortunately, we still don't have to pay them as much as men.

Law and Order: Los Angeles started filming an episode Monday based on the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. NBC is back!

Donald Trump is trying out a new, racist dog whistle about President Obama: Saying he was a “terrible” student and wondering how he got into Columbia and Harvard. "I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard?" I guess Trump didn't study the President's school record, he would have found that Obama graduated magna cum laude in 1991 from Harvard Law School, where he was president of the Harvard Law Review. Next, Trump is going to ask for proof of Obama's transcripts.

A 4.5-acre property at 4401 Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles was home to the largest independent public television station in the country… and now the Scientologists own it. They purchased the property for an undisclosed amount, and will use it to produce content to broadcast to their churches. NBC is back!

Americans aren’t mad about him anymore: Paul Reiser’s big TV comeback, The Paul Reiser Show, has been canceled by NBC after just two episodes. The 3.3 million people who watched the first episode were the fewest ever for an NBC in-season comedy premiere. NBC is baaa... shit.

Scientists have concluded that armadillos are a source of leprosy infections in humans. So be careful when positioning an empty beer bottle into a dead armadillo. Sure it's hilarious, but is it worth your face falling off?

Now you can have your location stored in two different colors: Apple will finally begin selling its white iPhone 4 on Thursday, nearly a year after the device was originally supposed to go on sale. Finally, Apple is pandering to its white supporters.

That's it. Thank you for being a friend.