Hey, guys, gas is over four dollars a gallon in LA, which means I’m only leaving my apartment when absolutely necessary, and on those occassions, I’m just going to fill up with Red Bull and run. What else is going on?
Well, for starters, Nicholas Cage was arrested in New Orleans Saurday. After posting bail, his lawyer told him he had to appear in court, and his immediate reaction was “Is Michael Bay directing? If so, I’m in!” Actually, here’s a strange little tidbit of info for you: Dog The Bounty Hunter bailed Nicholas Cage out of jail. I really hope this is how the next National Treasure starts. “We’re huntin’ the biggest bounty of all... John Wilkes Boothe’s reainimated corpse!”
There FAA announced it is creating new rules for air traffic controllers that should make the airways safer. The first new rule is no one works past bedtime.... Of course, you know there have been a lot of scandals lately with air traffic controllers sleeping on the job. You’d think that the first time an air traffic controller was caught sleeping that would’ve set off some alarms. Of course, if they’d set alarms in the first place, they wouldn’t have gotten caught sleeping. I don’t want to make light of the situation though. Sleepairtrafficcontrolling is a very serious condition whose only real cure is unemployment.
Religious leaders are upset about Lady Gaga because she sings that she loves Judas in her new song. Meanwhile Judas is getting a little tired of Lady Gaga. Apparently, somewhere around the eighth remix for “Born This Way” he was just over her. Judas is famous for betraying Jesus Christ on a really memorable night when Jesus called dibbs, but Judas went after Gaga anyway. Apparently, the church has never gotten over it.
Speaking of things hard to get over... All My Children was cancelled this week. So was One Life To Live. They were both soap operas that had been on the air for decades. Now the only soap operas left are General Hospital and the budget talks between the Republicans and Democrats. Which ever you choose to watch, you’re going to be able to see old people get screwed... Boy, if my grandma knew that they were cancelling these soaps, she’d roll over in her grave and say “Leave my stories on!” Then I’d be mad because cartoons would be on, and I’m tired of watching soaps all day, and why do I have to be here, anyway, because I’m old enough to be left home alone... Sorry, that took me back to a dark place.
That’s all this weekend. Come back Monday through Friday for jokes from Seth and Spence!
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