It's been a big day in the news, lots of stuff happened. Let's see if any of it is amusing.
China came under fire recently for cracking down on political and ideological dissidents. The White House issued a condemnation of the crackdown, saying "the Chinese government cannot stifle and oppress its people so harshly. Only Saudi Arabia can do that. So, China needs to get a lot more oil if they expect the rest of the world to stand idly by while a corrupt ruling class exploits the wealth of its country and people."
At a recent event in New Hampshire, when Vice President Joe Biden was asked how he would be assisting the President's re-election campaign he replied "What's that? Re-e-what-ion campaign? Oh, man, I need to read my email."
An accountant who turned his company in to the IRS last year for tax evasion got a reward of $1.4 million this year. He plans to start a non-profit organization devoted to cock-blocking.
In other financial news, Dish Network "won" a recent auction of the beleaguered Blockbuster Video chain, allowing them to finally corner the market in used Jean Claude Van Damme DVDs.
On the Today show last week, entrepreneur and hair pioneer Donald Trump said "I'm with the tea party," in a move that somehow simultaneously undermined the credibility of both Trump and the tea party movement.
The Department of Homeland Security is planning to use Facebook to post terror alerts online in users' news feeds. It's all part of a plan to root out terrorists by rounding up anyone who clicks "Like."
Speaking of terrorizing, a naked man in Florida, armed with an AK-47, opened fire on a robot used by the SWAT team as they tried to subdue him. He refused a lawyer, but did keep asking about Sarah Connor.
Lastly and at last, Pittsburgh Steeler and legendary lady's man Ben Roethlisberger announced last week that he will be tying the knot this summer. Hopefully that's not an allusion to a woman he's keeping tied to a chair in his house. If he is getting married, best of luck to the happy couple. Especially her. And to all you other ladies out there, looks like Pittsburgh just got a little safer.
That's it! Go out and have a great day! Thanks for stopping by, hope you had a laugh and if you did, share it with your friends. They'll think you're "cool." See you tomorrow!
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