In Washington, Speaker of the House John Boehner said he is open to repealing the massive tax breaks given to American oil companies. A representative from the petroleum industry responded by saying "this is a shocking development. After all, I could have sworn I mailed him his check this month. I'd better send another, just in case."
In a related story, Mississippi Governor and special interest group darling Haley Barbour announced he will not be running for President in 2012. Apparently someone told him how much it pays.
Last night a judge ordered the NFL team owners to lift the lockout, making it possible for the players to return to work. This is a great victory in the struggle for workers' rights in America, one worthy of a Woody Guthrie song. Congratulations to the NFL players for standing together in the face of the man! However, there's no word yet on whether armed men from the Pinkerton Agency will block the locker rooms.
Speaking of strong unions, actor Christopher Tierney, who was seriously injured during a performance of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, rejoined the show this week, proving once again how great the job market is for musical theater actors.
In Oklahoma, the House of Representatives voted to name "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" the official gospel song of the state of Oklahoma. In a close second: "Separation of Church and State is the Devil's Idea." It's actually catchier than you might think. Just ask Utah.
A recent poll found that Egyptians are full of hope about the future for the country. The poll also found that is really hard to figure out when Egyptians are being sarcastic.
In Texas, police were baffled by a homemade grenade found on the side of the highway. Then they remembered that it was Texas.
And lastly, the FAA fired a third air traffic controller for sleeping on the job this week. Man, those guys really need to form a union. Maybe the NFL can help.
That's all from me for today! Let's see what happens tomorrow. Till then, have a great day, no matter what time of day you have it.
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