Welcome to Wednesday, the day that's spelled like it doesn't sound. What a dumb day. Let's pretend it's Whensday. That sounds better, right? Oh, who cares. We've got jokes!
In political news, Rick Santorum formed a Presidential exploratory committee for 2012. Already they've determined his biggest obstacle will be overcoming the fact that he's a total tool.
In other shitty idea news, Jerry Spring announced he's going to take on Donald Trump and run for President. Someone needs to explain to both of these guys the pay cut they're in for. Oh, and also that they're both horribly unqualified for the job.
On Broadway, the new musical from Matt Stone and Trey Parker, The Book of Mormon, leads this season's Tony Awards with 14 nominations for songs which can never be played on network television. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, despite not officially opening, picked up special nominations for most dangerous play and stupidest name.
Archaeologists and astronomers reported this week that the Mayan calendar, and its "prediction" of an impending apocalypse, may be off by 50 years or more. Also, it may be completely made up.
In California, former comedian Andy Dick got arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a Marie Calendar restaurant in a clear sign his career isn't completely over. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
In Washington, a statue of President Gerald Ford was unveiled at the Capitol building. It promptly fell over. We miss you, Gerry.
In other political news, Prince Charles in in America on and official visit, for some reason. He's not getting married, so no one really cares.
And lastly, YouTube is preparing to offer premium movie rentals, which will face stiff competition from the pirated versions that have already been uploaded.
That's all. Hope you enjoyed it! Tell your friends, and come see us again tomorrow. Until then, have a great day!
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