What a week, right? If you’re still waiting for the President to release the death photos of Osama Bin Laden, you can stop waiting. They aren’t releasing them. But if you’re THAT interested in them, you can call a number, and for $3.99 a minute, you can listen to a woman breathlessly describe them in great detail. OK, so you can’t really do that… yet. I’m shopping it around.
Sony’s Playstation Network is still down. It’s been offline since late April. Videogamers are irate at how Sony has handled the situation, but there’s a lot that has been learned from this. NBC, for example, has taken its network offline until it figures out how to fix whatever is wrong with it.
According to a new study, Detroit has a shocking 47% illiteracy rate. 53% of the citizens of Detroit were shocked by the results of that study.
Apparently George Bush has felt snubbed by President Obama as Obama completes a “victory lap” media tour following the assassination of Osama bin Laden. It wouldn’t be that bad except Bush had gotten his flight suit dry cleaned, and now he has nowhere to wear it.
Meanwhile, Cheney is trying to decide whether to get a heart transplant. Typically he likes to drain them entirely of their life force before moving on to the next one, so he feels like it’s still a little early. Also, as per his deal with the devil, he has to spend four years in government each time he extends his lifespan, so that’s also giving him pause.
A German mayor rescued a man who had gotten trapped in a women’s prison. Said the man who’d been trapped, “STOP RESCUING ME!” At the prison, apparently, the gate was wide open allowing the man to go right in… or at least that’s what she said. Honestly? The gate was wide open? Do you really want to put criminals on the honor system? “If you’re going to leave the jail, make sure you leave a note and let someone know where you’re going, OK? Like Marie. She let her bunkmate know she was going to rob the Blumberg house, so none of us got worried.”
Happy Mother’s Day! Come back the rest of the week for Spence and Seth!
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