Hello friends! If you're one of my Oklahoma readers, I hope that you are alive and that your house wasn't destroyed by swirling wind. If it was, I'm sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you, now seriously, get back to work. I think I saw part of your house two counties over. Seth will be sending you some new boxer shorts. It's all he can give!
Here is something interesting: A decapitated head, said to be that of St. Vitalis of Assisi, the patron saint of genital diseases, will be sold at an auction. So, the Catholic church has a patron saint of genital diseases? I would assume most young boys are clean, but good to know they have someone to pray to if they run into one of those "slutty" altar boys.
Have you ever seen "Back to the Future"? You know that part where Michael J. Fox uses a car to tow him on his skateboard? Well, a man in Santa Clarita did that and died. He was also a fan of the video-game, Skate or Die.
Here’s a group that makes deathers, truthers, and birthers look nearly rational. A small ground of conspiracy websites has begun floating the theory that the Jan. 8 shootings in Tucson, in which five were killed and Rep. Gabrielle Giffords gravely injured, were a hoax—perhaps perpetrated by the government. Anyone remember the good ole days, when the government faked the moon landing? Life was so much simpler.
Speaking of nut-jobs, Sarah Palin may have a secret weapon to catapult herself to the front of the Republican presidential race: a movie. RealClearPolitics recently screened a rough cut of The Undefeated, a two-hour, million-dollar epic directed—and financed—by conservative filmmaker Stephen K. Bannon. If you go see this movie, you can be just like Palin, and leave in the middle.
Radar Online reports that Maria Shriver has hired a private investigator to trace rumors and tabloid claims that Schwarzenegger may have fathered other illegitimate children. Guess who now hates "anchor babies"? ME! Congrats Tea Party!
According to a report that aired Sunday night on CBS’ 60 Minutes, cyclist Lance Armstrong’s former teammate, Tyler Hamilton, claims that Armstrong and other team leaders encouraged, promoted, and took part in a doping program. Which is why teammates say he never won the Tour de France seven times.
The Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket in Joplin on Sunday, where at least 125 people have died in a tornado. Afterward, they will likely enjoy a nice dinner at Dolly Parton's Dixieland Stampede. It's like Medieval Times, but ignorant!
I've heard of Tiger Mothers, but not this... George L. Chin, 63, of Mattapoisett was arraigned on charges that he repeatedly slapped his adult son for playing poorly during a tennis match. Did I mention this happened at the Special Olympics? Oh, it did. But afterward he took his son to a nice dinner at Dolly Parton's Dixieland Stampede! POTATOES!
That's it for me. I love you all!
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