Another week has come and gone. I hope you were able to keep your blind rage in check this week. If not, I'm going to have to ask for your 7-day chip back.
A group of pacifist Christians are saying that shooting an unarmed Bin Laden was wrong. Hey, Christians, remember not so long ago when you killed a bunch of people for no reason? Judge not lest ye be judged... or something like that.
A new study shows the the world population will reach 10 billion by 2100, with concerns that our planet can't sustain that population. Seal Team 6, your next target is Kate Gosselin.
Osama bin Laden apologized to his children for neglecting them and instructed them not to join al Qaeda. Bin Laden had a four page paper apologizing and instructing his children. His kids responded positively to the note, except for Osteven bin Segal, that kid is a loose cannon.
It was one of the most embarrassing details about the Osama bin Laden raid: the supposedly ascetic Bin Laden was hiding out not in a cave but in a million-dollar mansion. But local real-estate experts say that figure was wildly exaggerated. Instead, the somewhat ramshackle property is worth no more than $250,000, they say. "No swimming pool. This is not a posh area. We call it a middling area,” Abbottabad property dealer Muhammad Anwar said. Well, of course the value plummeted, we all know how hard it is to get blood stains out of carpet.
The Pakistani government said Tuesday that the raid that killed Osama bin Laden was an “unauthorized unilateral action” by the U.S. and warned that “such an event shall not serve as a future precedent for any state, including the United States.” To which Obama replied, "Oh Pakistan, you're cute."
After all he’s done for Israel! Mike Huckabee is being criticized for comparing American debt to the Holocaust. Huckabee's plan to get America out of debt, spray it with Mustard Gas.
The wife of Osama bin Laden who was injured in the raid that killed him, reportedly told Pakistani interrogators that she hadn’t left the compound for five years. She sounds like a great Baptist woman.
Hungary is trying a 97-year-old man who was listed as the world’s most wanted Nazi war crimes suspect. Jeez, I thought 10 years for Bin Laden was a long time.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has agreed to his first post-politics film role: He will star in Cry Macho, a film about a horse trainer hired to kidnap a 9-year-old boy. The film is already in huge debt, but to solve the problem, Schwarzenegger is laying off the rest of California's teachers.
That's it for this week. Sorry the jokes were a little Bin Laden heavy. I love you all. Kisses.
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