NewsCorp announced this week that they are ready to be rid of MySpace, which puts them almost four years behind the rest of America. The announcement is terrible news for fans of Dane Cook and great news for people who hate java.
A fire tore through several warehouses in Rio's carnivale district. Fire marshals investigating the blaze blamed it on the bossa nova. They're not very good at their job.
In Asia, Thai and Cambodian forces have been fighting over an ancient temple while also enjoying some of the most amazing irony in modern history. Kudos, you magnificent, myopic bastards.
In Green Bay, Wisconsin, football fans took to the streets in celebration over the Packers' Super Bowl win. In response, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak refused to step down. Elsewhere, Tom Brady polished his MVP trophy in silence.
In the American south, many conservative Democrats are switching their party affiliation to the Republican party, citing their love for small government and how tired they are of pretending not to be racist.
Japanese sports authorities have called off an upcoming sumo tournament amid a match-fixing scandal. A source close to the story said "these sumo have no honor; they've taken a beautiful sport based around morbidly obese men in diapers slamming their bellies together and made it into something dirty."
Former President George W. Bush canceled a visit to Geneva, supposedly due to the possibility that Swiss authorities would arrest him for crimes against humanity. Usually it just takes a hurricane to keep him out of a city.
Lastly, a company in California recalled over 3,000 lbs of ground beef contaminated with E. coli bacteria. The company told consumers to be wary of any beef that tastes "shitty."
That's it for now. Thanks for reading, hope you tell your friends!
hilarious!!
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