Happy Valentine's Day. There. You happy?
Speaking of holidays, Egypt just celebrated its version of Groundhog Day. Unfortunately, the groundhog saw its shadow, which means six more weeks of protests. Or it would have, if a certain someone hadn't pussed out.
As protesters left Tahrir Square, they all pledged to stay in contact and get together again some time, maybe with less people shooting at them. So, Detroit's out.
Most importantly, however, Egyptian television can quit airing wall-to-wall coverage of the country falling apart and get back to crappy game shows and soap operas. That's what democracy smells like.
The revolution did turn out well for CNN, though, as the network saw a sudden increase in viewers. A network spokesperson said "yeah, if we want to keep seeing growth, we're going to have to start fomenting rebellion around the world; preferably where Al Jazeera doesn't already have a strong market share."
In Italy, women began their own protests, calling for the removal of Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi. Upon learning of the she-rallies, the Prime Minister raised one eyebrow knowingly and smiled.
From the Internet, police arrested a man this month for attempting to hire a hitman on Facebook. Obviously, he should have gone to Groupon.
In entertainment Mila Kunis, star of the hit film Black Swan, said that she is through with dancing for the rest of her life. She did say that she will make out with other women, though, just as often as she can.
Lastly, Congressman Christopher Lee (R NY; no relation to Sauron), resigned on Friday after Gawker revealed that he was trolling for women on Craigslist. Should have gone to Groupon with Elliot Spitzer. But there is, ultimately, no bad publicity, and the former Congressman is already examining a possible presidential run in 2012. Brett Favre said "He's got my vote."
Alright, that's it. Happy Monday, enjoy the candy and we'll see you tomorrow. And if you feel so moved, email us to your friends to let them know you care. Just not enough to actually contact them for real.
I redeemed my Groupon for this!
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