Yesterday in Central Falls, Rhode Island, the city fired all of its high school teachers in what sounds suspiciously like the beginning of a raucous teen comedy.
Ford Motors recalled thousands of F-150 trucks over a problem with improperly installed airbags. A spokesman for the company explained, saying, "our trucks aren't supposed to have airbags 'cause our customers don't need 'em! Airbags are for little sissies who drive Chevrolets! Right?! Yeah! Let's go get tanked! Ford tough!"
In a bold show of leadership by omission, the Obama administration will no longer be defending federal laws that ban gay marriage. Congratulations, President Obama, for being lazy enough to finally do the right thing on gay marriage!
Alleged television star and "Real Housewives" participant Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is back in the news for her upcoming appearance on Law and Order: SVU. Ms. de Lesseps said she's excited to be back in scripted television.
A recent software update from Microsoft caused some Windows Mobile devices to stop working entirely. When confronted by angry consumers, Steve Ballmer said "come on, you can't really be surprised."
Christine O'Donnell revealed yesterday that she was invited to join Dancing With The Stars, indicating that America may be out of stars. When asked if she could dance, Ms. O'Donnell replied, "no, but I also can't think in coherent thoughts, and I was almost a Senator. Why not give it a shot?"
Musician/rolemodel Sting said yesterday that he was troubled by the violence in Libya, and worried about the future of the country. Well, that's it. If you've lost Sting, you've lost Libya.
Lastly, a man jumped the barricade during a taping of NBC's Today Show, shouting "I'm God's gift to music!" before being subdued by security guards. It's the most bizarre Today Show moment in recent memory that didn't involve Kathie Lee.
That's it for me. Spencer's here tomorrow and Earnest checks in on Sunday. Tell your friends, share us on Facebook/Twitter/Buzz/CompuServe and let us know what you're thinking!
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