Oh, happy Tuesday to all you people reading this. Perhaps you'd like to hear some jokes?
Former Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbechev criticized Vladimir Putin yesterday, accusing him of "incredible conceit." Putin responded by calling Gorbechev a "national hero," saying "his passing is a great tragedy, and he will be missed. Rest in peace." He then whispered "hint, hint" to a man standing nearby in the shadows.
In other international news, a group of men in Zimbabwe were accused of plotting against President Mugabe and arrested for watching the news. Thankfully we live in a place where that wouldn't happen, because we've all chosen to ignore the news. Also, it's been rumored that the men were actually watching The Jersey Shore but would rather go to prison than admit it.
In business news, Blockbuster Video may be coming out of bankruptcy, thanks to a rumored $209 million buyout. A spokesman for Blockbuster said "yeah, we're as surprised as you are. Whatever happens, don't tell these guys about the Internet!"
An Egyptian couple recently named their baby "Facebook." This actually has less to do with the role played by social networking in the Egyptian revolution, and more to do with the fact that this baby is covered with targeted advertising.
Elsewhere in Egypt, former President Mubarak's assets have been frozen, which explains why he's been spotted recently wearing a shirt that says "I oppressed 18 million people for 30 years and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." Gadaffi said he wouldn't be caught dead in one.
In Wisconsin, Governor Scott Walker continues to have trouble with the various unions in the state. He is also worried about the sudden influx of Egyptians immigrating to the area.
In Florida, a mother forced her son to wear a sign announcing his 1.22 GPA to the world. Some people are raising concerns that the child is being humiliated or bullied needlessly, but it turns out he actually has no idea what's going on.
Lastly, 164 drug addicts escaped from a Vietnamese treatment facility this week. They're scheduled to be at Charlie Sheen's place by Friday.
That's it for today! If you liked this, please let your friends know! Repost us on Twitter, Facebook, Google Buzz (whatever it is) or just email us to anyone at all. And please leave some feedback, good or bad, below. Thanks, and have a wonderful Tuesday!
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