Friday, December 24, 2010

Friday Morning with Spencer

This morning's jokes come to from our dear friend and funny man, Spencer Hicks! Check out his website, SpencerHicks.com.

Alright, let's get to it.


Did you hear that the Kardashian sisters are starting their own credit card? Now, you don't have to be divorced to owe money to a vapid skank. On the plus line, your credit line is unjustifiably and illogically high, just like their popularity.




Reality show star Sarah Palin took a swipe at First Lady Michelle Obama's healthy nutrition initiative on her television show. While handing out S'Mores to children, she said "This is in honor of Michelle Obama." When reached for comment Palin said, "It wasn't a dis on the initiative, I'm a racist. Thought that would be pretty clear."


"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was recently repealed. One active-duty service member -- who identified himself as gay but did not want to be identified -- said, "It's such a relief. I can now be openly gay around a bunch of homophobes with guns!" Elsewhere, Staff Sergeant Mike Rhodes said "It's good to hear, but it's going to be business as usual for us. My men still have to get up at 0500 for their skipping drills."


Lastly, a survey of American scientists shows that only 6 percent of scientists self-identify as Republican. When reached for comment a Republican scientist said, "shh... I'm trying to bring the system down from the inside!"


That's it. Merry Christmas.

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