Sunday, October 2, 2011

Monday Morning Monologue - October 3, 2011

Fall began last week, and here's some things you need to know to make sure your FALL doesn't become a FAIL. Puns are cool, right? Okay, here we go.

1. The jackasses who said spent all summer saying "hot enough for ya?" will now transition to "cold enough for ya?" Enjoy the variety.

2. For some reason, there will be another Kelsey Grammer show.

3. You're not quite cool enough to pull off a flannel wardrobe. Maybe next year, slugger.

4. The changing season has nothing to do with the Christian doctrine known as the Fall of Man, which explains how the first humans went from a state of obedience to God to a state of disobedience. It's just a coincidence that both Falls feature apples.

5. If you go swimming after the temperature drops, be sure to wear lots of layers to trap your body heat when you're in the water. Also, the warmer water is usually deeper. Trust me. Just keep looking for it.

6. Did you remember to apply to graduate school? It's either that or get a real job, hippie. But don't worry, there are still plenty of crappy schools who'll take students after the semester starts. But then again, you're probably too lazy to find them.

7. When planning your Halloween costume, stay away from "conceptual" costumes. Smiling and saying you're dressed as a "happy version" of yourself doesn't count.

8. Have you ever been out in a field at night with a scarecrow? Man, those things are creepy.

Okay, that's all. More timely funny stuff tomorrow. Till then, have a great day!

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