Thursday Morning Monologue - October 13, 2011

It's finally Thursday, everyone! No sketch this week, just some good old fashioned topical humor. "Enjoy!"

Yesterday, email service on the popular Blackberry devices went down for several hours, forcing angry customers to actually pay attention to their surroundings and, in some dire circumstances, children.

In happier news, the Chrysler Motor Company reached a labor agreement with the United Auto Workers union, keeping them on the job and averting a strike. In a rare double-whammy agreement, the UAW also agreed to play the first two weeks of games for the NBA season this year.

In Detroit, the so-called "Underpants bomber" plead guilty at trial yesterday. He remained defiant, however. When asked if he had any regrets about the attempted bombing, he told the judge to "blow it out your ass."

Medical news: scientists have recreated the genetic code of the Black Death, the virulent form of bubonic plague that killed a third of Europe's population several hundred years ago. Said one scientist, "pretty cool, right? Not sure what we're going to do with it. Man, sure hope that beaker doesn't fall over and break. Am I right!?"

Musician and poet Bob Dylan is taking up the bagpipes. A piece of advice: please don't go electric with this one.

The celebrity gossip blog TMZ is now offering a shame tour of Los Angeles for only $49. The bus tour will take tourists through all disgusting, sordid stories of Hollywood. It will also, quite likely, serve as a taxi service for Charlie Sheen.

Sony recalled some of their flatscreen TVs after owners noticed the units started smoking. Sony is investigating the problem, but early rumors attribute the problem to "peer pressure."

And lastly, a Google software engineer ripped the Google+ social networking platform, calling it a "complete failure." Fortunately he did it on Google+, so no one saw it.

And so it ends for me this week. Come back for some Spencer Hicks goodness tomorrow. I'll be back on Monday.

Til then, have a great day!