I'm writing this on my phone due to a disagreement between me and my computer. You can guess how that is going. As such, there will be no banter today. It's a sad affair, I know. Well, we soldier on. With jokes!
Yesterday, Broncos quarterback and mega-Christian Tim Tebow rallied the Broncos to a narrow victory over the Dolphins, proving once again that God hates Miami.
John Mayer is recovering from throat surgery. Since he can't talk, and he gave up Twitter, he's been forced to convey his douche baggy-ness through handwritten letters. Much classier.
Ron Paul wants to end Federal student loan assistance, because it puts young people into debt, which is something the private sector can do much more efficiently.
Ryan Reynolds just turned 35, meaning his days as a Hollywood sex symbol are almost over. Wait, no, he's not a woman. False alarm.
Rupert Murdoch is set to address the NewsCorp shareholders meeting, and insiders are expecting some serious arguments and drama, based on the notes they've managed to download from his computer.
Halloween is coming up, and the most popular costume for women is "Pregnant Bella" from the Twilight novels. For a cheaper version, stuff a pillow under your shirt, sprinkle glitter in your crotch, and start dating a sad little emo douche bag.
The final Old Time Radio convention was held for golden age radio enthusiasts. The convention has been discontinued due to a lack of interest. The cancellation was announced via telegraph.
And finally, NBC Sports is relocating from New York City to Connecticut, presumably to take advantage of the great tax breaks for failure.
And that it's all. See you tomorrow! Until then, have a great day!
Thanks for standing up for all us old ladies.
ReplyDeleteDoin' what I can.
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