Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thursday Morning Monologue - October 20, 2011

Let's make Thursday awesome, okay? OKAY!

Arnold Schwarzenegger is back to acting again. Let's see if he can act like someone who makes good decisions.

Hallmark just added job loss cards to its line of products. Well, at least someone got a job out of it.

In television news, Monday's GOP debate drew more viewers than NBC's The Biggest Loser, so don't be surprised if Anna Kournikova has to spend all of next week's episode defending her ridiculous flat-tax proposal.

Leonard Cohen is set to release a new album this year because "people are too happy these days."

Social Security recipients will get a 3.6% raise next year, which means the GDP of Florida is about to skyrocket.

A Chinese school was recently ordered to stop forcing poorly-behaved students to wear green scarves as punishment. Instead, they'll go back to the old system: sending the kids to America.

Herman Cain said yesterday that he could see a situation where he would need to negotiate with terrorists. Yeah, we know. The Tea Party loves you.

And lastly, George Clooney said this week that he won't run for office. Too bad. Just imagine what kind of tail he could get if he... oh, right. Never mind, George.

And that's what I'm closing with. Maybe Spencer has something better for you tomorrow? Yeah, probably so. And I'll be back on Monday! Till then, have a great day.

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