Well, with 89% of precincts reporting, I still don't care about the Iowa Caucus. So don't expect any jokes about it today. Maybe I'll give a damn tomorrow. But I do give a damn about these jokes. Read them and enjoy, or not.
Due to awful sales and mounting losses, RIM just reduced the price of all their Playbook tablets to $299. It's like if NBC decided to start selling all their advertising spots at Whitney prices.
A new "tropical" breed of hybrid sharks was spotted off the Australian coast. Biologists believe the breed is tougher than normal sharks, and presents a great new opportunity for shitty SyFy channel movies.
In Maryland, a lost hiker was saved in part by an iPhone flashlight app, which is convenient since it was the iPhone GPS that got him lost in the first place.
Speaking of lost, pop musician Fergie said this week that she might be having a baby this year. The only downside is that at some point, she's going to sing to that baby, and there's nothing comforting about an auto-tuned lullaby.
Speaking of babies, Lady Gaga said recently that "my next baby will be my new record." So, get ready for a scream-filled album that isn't nearly as cute as Lady Gaga thinks it is. And also, I guess that means a follow-up EP would be like the afterbirth?
China's President Hu Jintao said this week that the West is trying to dominate China by spreading its culture and ideology to China. It may sound xenophobic, but I understand his motivation. No one wants to wake up in the sort of country that created Whitney.
In Spain, Salma Hayek received knighthood this weekend. I can't imagine how they're going to find a suit of armor that fits her, though.
And finally, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark surpassed Wicked as the biggest financial success on Broadway. But in fairness, most of that came from Aflac injury claims.
Okay, that's the end of today. Tomorrow will be a new day, perhaps with Romney and Santorum and the awful choices Iowa's Republicans make. Till then, have a great day!
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