It's Thursday! Let's enjoy some jokes!
Punk rock icon Johnny Ramone's autobiography is coming out this year and will inspire years of shitty knock-off autobiographies.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, facing a recall election this summer, said that the election is "all about union money." He then got back to work, giving a full body massage to the Koch brothers.
Goldman Sachs announced that their profits are down 58% from a year ago. In a related story, PEOPLE ARE STILL GIVING MONEY TO GOLDMAN SACHS!
A study of teenagers online found that more and more young people are sharing their online passwords as a sign of affection. Please, kids, be safe. Save your security questions for marriage. You can never get those back.
Speaking of staying safe, many in Los Angeles' porn industry may leave the city when new regulations go into effect requiring actors to wear condoms. And to Los Angeles, I say let them go. If the industry won't use condoms, it never loved you in the first place. In a related story, 18 year-old runaways hoping to make it in movies will now need to learn how to type.
Singer Sinead O'Connor is in treatment for depression, and we wish her the best of luck. One bit of advice to her doctors: don't let her listen to her albums. Any of them.
Newt Gingrich attacked President Obama as the "food stamp" President, saying "when I'm President, no one will be on food stamps!"
And finally, China will now require Internet users to verify their names before commenting on websites. The move is expected to cut down on government criticism as well as "general dickishness."
And that's all for me! Enjoy Spencer tomorrow, and I'll be back on Monday! Till then, have a great weekend!
Punk rock icon Johnny Ramone's autobiography is coming out this year and will inspire years of shitty knock-off autobiographies.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, facing a recall election this summer, said that the election is "all about union money." He then got back to work, giving a full body massage to the Koch brothers.
Goldman Sachs announced that their profits are down 58% from a year ago. In a related story, PEOPLE ARE STILL GIVING MONEY TO GOLDMAN SACHS!
A study of teenagers online found that more and more young people are sharing their online passwords as a sign of affection. Please, kids, be safe. Save your security questions for marriage. You can never get those back.
Speaking of staying safe, many in Los Angeles' porn industry may leave the city when new regulations go into effect requiring actors to wear condoms. And to Los Angeles, I say let them go. If the industry won't use condoms, it never loved you in the first place. In a related story, 18 year-old runaways hoping to make it in movies will now need to learn how to type.
Singer Sinead O'Connor is in treatment for depression, and we wish her the best of luck. One bit of advice to her doctors: don't let her listen to her albums. Any of them.
Newt Gingrich attacked President Obama as the "food stamp" President, saying "when I'm President, no one will be on food stamps!"
And finally, China will now require Internet users to verify their names before commenting on websites. The move is expected to cut down on government criticism as well as "general dickishness."
And that's all for me! Enjoy Spencer tomorrow, and I'll be back on Monday! Till then, have a great weekend!
I read that "all about unicorn money"
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of unicorns gathering in shady back rooms, chewing on cigars and handing out bags of money to corrupt politicians. Damn those unicorns, and their evil agenda!
ReplyDelete