Hey hey! Sorry for the delay. Let's jump right into the funny.
Remember the Spice Girls? They're reuniting to perform for Queen Elizabeth's upcoming jubilee and to remind the nation that the Queen no longer has the power to jail or execute her subjects at will.
In Chicago, a man was arrested for sleeping in a parked SUV surrounded by empty beer cans. After his arrest, he peed on the floor at the police station and then entertained the officers with a rousing bit of air piano. You can see him next season on America's Got Talent.
Glee star Chris Colfer said that the upcoming Michael Jackson tribute episode was traumatic for him, probably because he's the one who got to star in their Pepsi commercial/Atavin mashup.
In North Korea, state media is reporting that new dear leader Kim Jong-Un is receiving "rock star treatment" from the military, which probably means he's been kidnapped from South Korea.
Also in Asia, the Japanese population is projected to drop by one million each year until at least 2060. Although the human/body pillow hybrid population is expected to skyrocket.
In Ohio, Willie Nelson is campaigning for Dennis Kucinich, which is exactly what both of them need to be taken more seriously.
In India, film censors have banned The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for violent and sexual content, as well as an unacceptably low number of show-stopping song and dance numbers.
And finally, Julian Assange will be on The Simpsons' 500th episode! The story was released by blah blah blah wikileaks.
And that's it! Enjoy your morning, and I'll see you tomorrow!
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