Monday, January 9, 2012

Tuesday Morning Monologue - January 10, 2012

Good Tuesday! Thought I might spice things up today with some consumer criticism, if you don't mind. Mainly because I'm sick of the GOP presidential primaries, and I already wrote most of this earlier today waiting for CVS to get my prescriptions ready. So, if you follow my Twitter or Facebook posts, then this might seem familiar to you. Anyway, let's do this!

First up, The Awesome Book of Bible Answers for Kids! 
No, "evolution" is not one of the answers. But "because you'll go to Hell" is a pretty safe bet.

Next, Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People
Apparently emoticons are an important part. ;-P Also important: Not letting your friends and family see you reading this book.

Facebook for Dummies
Like it's normally a haven for geniuses. Probably if you're having trouble using Facebook, the whole "written language" thing may be beyond you. Also, pretty sure that Facebook for dummies is still Myspace.

"Fifty-two Things Ever New Jerseyan Must Do!"
"Talk way too loudly" shows up 14 times. Also: "never admit that 'New Jerseyan' is not a real word."

Awesome Good Clean Jokes for Kids 
Finally! A gift for that special niece or nephew who is a total loser!

7 Things He'll Never Tell You
 Thing 01: This book is a waste of time and money. Thing 2: I can't believe I'm with the kind of person who reads 7 Things He'll Never Tell You.

Textapedia
 Yes! I was wondering how to combine my love of reference books with text messaging! And it turns out the book has only two tips: "You = U" and "take out all the vowels." There, saved you $4.99 +tax.

And finally, You Can Do It Even If Others Say You Can't
Unless that thing is "dancing." Then you should probably listen to others. Also, don't get this book for President Obama, it'll just make him feel bad about the whole not-fixing-the-economy-or-providing-universal-healthcare-or-ending-the-Afghanistan-war thing.

Okay, hope you enjoyed that. Probably won't do it again, unless you have some ridiculous stuff to send my way. More jokes tomorrow! Till then, have a great day!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Chime in!