Sunday, January 22, 2012

Monday Morning Monologue - January 23, 2012

Anything happen this weekend?

Two Canadian Naval officers have been accused of spilling state secrets recently, leading to suspicions that Canada actually has state secrets. Other than the Weapon X program, of course.

At a speaking event this weekend, Mitt Romney yelled back at hecklers in the audience, telling them to "take a hike." He then asked Geordi LaForge if this is "the human emotion 'anger' I've heard so much about." Because he's a robot. Like Data. From Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Ahead of the South Carolina primary, Mitt Romney described his competition with Newt Gingrich as "neck-and-neck." After his loss, a visibly upset Romney revised it to "neck-and-jowl."

Speaking of the race, Mitt Romney said this weekend that he will release his tax returns after all. Gingrich wasted no time in accusing Romney of "flip-flopping" on the issue.

Famed songwriter Burt Bacharach is writing his memoir, although it will probably do much better when someone else reads it for him.

In Chicago, a priest under investigation for sexual abuse was chastised this weekend for holding Mass while he is prohibited from public ministry. The priest apparently thought he was banned from pubic ministry. Simple mistake.

Star of MTV's The Hills, Kristin Cavallari, is expecting her first child. NBC has already offered the child a development deal. Seriously. They're in some trouble.

And finally, BlackBerry is replacing its CEOs, due to their incompetence. As part of their severance package, they've been given two weeks pay and as many of those stupid BlackBerry Playbooks as they can carry.

And that's the end for now. See you tomorrow!

1 comment:

  1. Loved the comment about the Chicago priest!

    ReplyDelete

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