Just when you thought it was going to be Tuesday again, it's Wednesday! Isn't that great? Yes, it is. Okay, and comedy is now!
In Delaware, the ACLU is defending the right of a convicted sex offender to live near a day care center. Said one lawyer, "yeah, I live across town."
In Maryland, a flash mob is being blamed for a 60-second robbery of a 7-11 store. Was it a flash mob, or just really efficient looting? We'll need to review the security footage to check for douchebag hipsters.
Speaking of douchebags, Governor Rick Perry said today that if the Chairman of the Federal Reserve prints more money before the next presidential election, it is tantamount to treason. Also treasonous: anything that helps to stabilize the economy and/or make it easier for President Obama to be reelected. That's the law. TEXAS-STYLE!
Remember that Rembrandt that was stolen from a California hotel recently? If you don't, go read yesterday's post. Go on, I'll wait. Okay, well police found it yesterday in a nearby church. At least the thieves didn't sell out.
In Forney, Texas, an 11 year-old girl was made Mayor for a day recently. First order of business, she renamed a street for Justin Bieber. Second order of business: get rid of all the Mexicans. That's the law. TEXAS-STYLE!
In other musical news, the rock group KISS got booted off an upcoming Michael Jackson tribute, presumably because they weren't considered solemn enough for the event. Either that or they had creative differences with the organizer: a chimpanzee. Because Michael loved... oh, never mind.
Speaking of other unspeakables, Casey Anthony's parents will be interviewed next week on the Dr. Phil Show because they haven't suffered enough.
And lastly, there's a rumor going around that Abercrombie & Fitch started bribing the Jersey Shore cast members to stop wearing their clothes. So, does that mean the Jersey Shore jerks are too douchey or not douchey enough?
Alright, those are some jokes. I'd say they're probably average. There will be more tomorrow.
Till then, have a great day!
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