Happy Tuesday, unless you're in London, in which case, LOOK OUT! Here's some jokes.
A study revealed this week that increasingly, recruiters for major corporations are turning to Facebook for their employee search, because they're looking for people who spend all their time on Facebook, apparently. Productivity is overrated.
Sad news today, as the United States House of Representatives announced it is ending the nearly 200-year old Capitol Page Program. No word yet on how this will impact the Rape a Capitol Page Program.
For some reason, Hollywood is making a Dirty Dancing remake. So now a whole new generation can get sick of it. Oh well, at least it will introduce 14 year-olds to the magic of Joe Cocker's soothing voice. He'll still be doing the theme song, right? Oh, screw it.
Shocking media news this week, as many conservatives are angry about the angry-looking, crazy-eyed picture of Michele Bachmann on the cover of Newsweek. They feel that it sets an unhealthy standard of wild-eyed batshit-crazy rage that young girls cannot live up to. And they're right. They've clearly airbrushed the last bit of sanity right out of her smile. It's just not fair.
Following up with the news of rapper Big Boi's arrest this weekend, police revealed that drug dogs actually smelled the drugs on Big Boi, alerting the police. The dogs then had to go lay down, eat some Captain Crunch and listen to Pink Floyd for about an hour.
In response to the government crackdown in Syria this month, the government of Saudi Arabia recalled its Syrian ambassador out of protest. If that isn't the repressive pot calling the kettle tyrannical...
Kanye West said today that he's tired of people looking at him like Hitler. Does that mean he's tired of people looking at him in a manner that he feels Hitler would have looked at him, or that he thinks people think he's Hitler? If it's the latter, he should probably knock it off with all those big late-night rallies with all those torches and costumes and singing and whatnot. If it's the former, well, then it sounds like he's just being paranoid... Just. Like. HITLER!
And lastly, Kate Gosselin, formerly of Jon and Kate Plus 8, announced that she is ready to date again. I'm not sure if that's a warning, or not. Regardless, her uterus also issued a statement: "HELP!"
That's all for me. Keep shining, you all. And we'll see you tomorrow!
Till then, have a great day!
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