What is this, Monday? Ugh. Okay. I went shopping recently, but I'm not going to talk about the stuff I bought, because I think I've grown as person, and I understand the world doesn't need to know about my underwear. But if you want to know, just ask me. Otherwise, enjoy the jokes.
In South Dakota, some school districts are trying to save money by cutting school on Fridays. I had no idea I was such a thrifty high schooler.
Speaking of thrifty, plans are still in flux for this year's MDA Telethon. Rumors are circulating that Jerry Lewis will be stepping back into the hosting duties after saying he would step down. Lewis denied the rumors, saying "who do I look like, Jay Leno?"
In Spain, the Pope was forced to end a youth rally after a lightning storm broke out. When the Pope is running from lightning, what chance do the rest of us have?
Senator Charles Schumer introduced a plan recently to deactivate stolen cell phones with some kind of kill switch transmitted by the owner. Similar plans have been proposed for children.
In California, fifteen people were arrested as they tried to smuggle pills into Tijuana, Mexico. Along with the pills, authorities found a broken GPS system.
The animal rights group PETA announced they will be launching a porn site devoted to animal lovers. I really hope I misinterpreted that sentence.
In legal news, the ubiquitous Facebook "Like" button was declared illegal in Germany because of course it was.
And lastly, President Obama issued a statement demanding that Libyan tyrant Gadhafi step down. Jay Leno has offered to take over.
And that's it for Monday. Tomorrow, there will be more. Maybe a Kardashian joke or something.
Have a great day!
It's PETA, you're not misinterpreting. At all.
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