Fridays with Spencer: Walk of Shame

Happy Friday friends. It's my favorite day of the week. Where spinning your wheels is totally acceptable.

An asteroid the size of a tour bus flew past Earth on June 27. It was so close, it was beneath some of the planet's satellites. We have a black President, an asteroid hurtling toward Earth; Hollywood, now is the time to make a movie using this scenario!

A man in Connecticut broke into a home because, "God told him to do it." Unfortunately, the police and resident hate God and arrested him and pressed charges.

Speaking of God and his retributive justice, a new study shows that men have a biological clock as well. Both dwarfism, Marfan syndrome, Apert syndrome is a mutation caused exclusively by advanced paternal age. In a related story, Larry King is about to debut his own circus.

Charlie Sheen is single after his last "Goddess" left him. Sheen has lost his job, his girls and his kids. If only that asteroid were a bit closer to Earths gravitational pull...

Mother nature doesn't like men, go figure. Between 1995 and 2008, lightning killed 648 people, and of those, 82 percent were male, according to AccuWeather.com. So there ya go. Women get to vote, keep the house AND survive the wrath of mother nature. The only thing that makes me feel better is that we can make you carry genetically deficient children.

Do I still have to pay back my student loans? "College prices have been going up faster than any others costs in the American economy, faster even than healthcare and certainly faster than inflation and family income," said Patrick Callan, Founder of the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education. So, you're going to be poor regardless. Have fun out there kids.

The Arizona Capitol has been dealing with an influx of rats. No word yet on if the infestation was caused by nearby storm sewer construction or the last election.

That's it for me. Have a happy and safe 4th. AMERICA!