Sunday, July 10, 2011

Monday Morning Monologue - July 11, 2011

Let's do this.

In London, the embattled newspaper News of the World shut down yesterday after 168 years of publishing. This is especially awful for anyone who got stumped on Sunday's crossword puzzle.

In a suburb of Detroit, a woman faces 93 days in jail over a vegetable garden in her front yard. Apparently it goes against the city's strong pro-bleak legislation.

In Dallas, a Rihanna concert had to be cancelled after a fire broke out above the stage. The evacuation was delayed, however, when concert staff misunderstood the chants of "the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!"

In New Zealand, a representative for a national business group came under fire last week for linking female worker productivity to menstrual cycles. It was a pretty big deal last week, but for some reason it just doesn't seem that important this week.

Music sales are up this year, leading to speculation that kids today are too stupid to figure out how to use bittorrent.

In California, Prince William and Kate Middleton wrapped up a visit to California with a visit to Santa Monica's skid row and a polo match. Apparently they really like horse.

In international news, the U.S. announced they will be halting approximately $800 million in military aid. Jeez, you hide one mass-murderer...

And lastly, Vinny Guadagnino, AKA "Vinny" of The Jersey Shore, returned to the show's beach house this weekend after earlier quitting the series. So, they're all back? Great, go ahead and board it up, guys. Hurry, before they run out of mixers!

Okay, that's all for today. Let's do this again tomorrow, what do you say?

Till then, have a great day!

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