Yay! Keep it up! Let's get through this week! Oh, I forget sometimes how difficult it is to convey bitter, detached irony through text. Boo, hoo. Enjoy some jokes!
In royal news, Prince William gave an old pair of Princess Diana's earrings to Kate Middleton, who already wears Princess Diana's engagement ring. Along with the earrings, William also sent Kate a bottle of peroxide and a copy of Vertigo. Good flick.
In opera news, an Israeli orchestra is set to perform one of Hitler's favorite pieces, by Wagner, in Germany. It's quite possibly the most punk rock moment in operatic history.
In political news, the Syrian government announced that it will allow political parties, but they're still undecided on whether or not to allow political candidates.
Speaking of political candidates, Hugo Chavez will be running for re-election in 2012, because of course he will. However, he's expected to face a tough primary challenge from his tumor.
In Korea, a woman protesting job losses has now spent 200 days on top of a crane at a prominent shipping company. Just like a woman, right fellas?
In other industrial horror news, the formerly-trapped Chilean miners from Chile have reached an agreement on a movie deal based upon their lives and their harrowing time spent trapped for weeks in total darkness by a collapse at the mine. The movie is tentatively called Don't Be a Miner!
Police in New York busted a prostitution ring worth $7million. What tipped them off? Probably all those bags of ten dollar bills stuck together. That's why you've gotta launder your money...
And finally, Chinese law enforcement has been hard at work recently shutting down fake Apple Stores selling counterfeit Apple products. How do they know the products are fake? They weren't made in China.
That's it. Come back tomorrow, and maybe there will be a debt-ceiling joke. Maybe?
Till then, have a great day!
Stuck together? Ew. Just....ew.
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