Jokes commencing in three... two... one... zero... ten... nine... wait, what am I doing? Never mind.
In an attempt to apologize for his homophobic rant this past weekend, actor/nutjob Tracy Morgan said today that even if his son were gay, he'd still love him almost as much as he loves his career in Hollywood.
Casinos in Atlantic City are turning to SEX to attract business. They've got new strip clubs, new burlesque shows, and even an upcoming "naked circus." But they still won't allow you to play the slots without any pants on. Prudes. By the way, "naked circus" means the bear no longer wears his fez. It's pretty scandalous.
Hey, remember Andrew McCarthy, the star of such recent hits as Pretty in Pink and Weekend at Bernie's? Well, he is writing a new memoir. It's called For God's Sake: INVEST YOUR MONEY WISELY!
Speaking of movies, Harry Potter star Emma Watson recently said "I have had no control over my life" which means, obviously, that an evil wizard has bewitched her. Maybe Andrew McCarthy can help!
In sadder news, Harold Camping, the wacko who predicted the world would end last month, then corrected his prediction to put the apocalypse in October, had a stroke this weekend. Strangely enough, he predicted this stroke, but he thought it would be in January... spooky!
Yesterday, the Pentagon Papers were finally released in their entirety, nearly 40 years after they were initially leaked. Is it just me, or is the Pentagon really bad at stopping leaks?
In more sad news, Education Secretary Arne Duncan may issue waivers to educators to exempt certain children from the "No Child Left Behind" law, although sources confirm that it will only be "the really dumb and really ugly kids."
And lastly, the NBC affiliate in Salt Lake City announced they will not be airing the new Playboy show on their station. The move surprised other stations, who were quick to ask "you mean we don't have to air these crappy shows they send us?! Oh, man! What a relief!"
Okay, that's all for today! Unless I post more on my Twitter feed later on in the day. What's the link? Well, that would be http://www.twitter.com/soonerseth. You should probably follow my tweets, just to be safe. <---Most ridiculous sentence I've written today that didn't involve Harry Potter.
You know, it's summer. You might want to have some fresh fruit today. Could be delicious. But whatever you decide, I hope you have a great day!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Chime in!