Good Monday to you all! This is going to be a great week. Possibly the greatest week. I've got nothing at all to back that up, other that my own misplaced optimism. That, and a fancy new pair of contact lenses. That's all you need, right? Oh, and jokes. Obviously you need jokes. Good thing I have some!
In medical freak-out news, a woman in Oregon woke up from dental surgery with a brand new European accent. The woman was clearly shocked, as she had neither been to Europe, nor had she been married to Guy Ritchie.
Keeping up with musical news, country music superstar Trace Adkins lost his home this weekend, as it burned to the ground before his eyes. On the plus side, though, there goes his writers' block.
In Malaysia, so-called "obedient wives" clubs are forming around the country to offer support and guidance to the country's wives. The clubs are emphasizing the importance of good sex in the marriage, going so far as to say that good sex is a wife's duty. And nothing in this world is as sexy as someone's duty. Oh, yeah. That is one sexy obligation...
Big news for robots this week, as a German robot was revealed to the press playing pool and hustling human players. This is a great breakthrough for scientists, who have previously been unable to create a robot that could develop a gambling addiction. Next, they're working on a machine that can shoot up methadone.
In other technological news, the miracle plane that landed safely in the Hudson river is on the move again, this time heading to a museum. No word if the geese will be going along, too.
The state of Alabama announced it will begin a severe crackdown on illegal immigrants in the state, which seems like an odd choice to me. Illegal immigrants are the only people who you can point to and say, "these people *WANT* to be Alabama! See, it can't be all bad!"
In other American news, wildfires in Arizona are threatening communities around the state. They haven't been blamed on illegal immigrants yet, but just wait. Jan Brewer will find a way to send these fires back to Mexico, where they belong!
And lastly, Nintendo announced their online player network had been hacked, just like PS3 network last month, but for half the price of the PS3 attack and with more intuitive user interface.
Don't know if I should have ended on such a nerdy note. Oh well, we'll have all week to get cool again. Keep coming back, keep telling your friends, and keep having a great day!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Chime in!