Hey guys! Did you hear? Rogaine Foam is finally unscented. The letter writing campaign worked. Now, we can't rest on our laurels. We have to keep the momentum until every product out is unscented. Then the world will be safe from all the smell-blind people of the world.
Did you hear that Exxon Mobil discovered a 700 million barrel reserve of oil in the Gulf of Mexico? I'm guessing most of it is from the BP spill. Finders keepers!
96-year old woman confessed to murder she committed in 1946, authorities say she could go to jail for the rest of her life. Prison will probably be nicer than her nursing home.
A manure-like smell is permeating many parts of Grand Rapids, though officials at the city's water systems facility said a cause is elusive. I'm guessing this will have to be settled by the courts. The case will no doubt go down in history as Smelt It V. Dealt It.
The periodic table has grown by two boxes, as scientists have added a pair of manmade elements to the chart. The elements are known as Elements 114 and 116; their permanent names and symbols will be chosen later. Well, shit. Now I'll never memorize the periodic table.
Bill Kristol, a conservative journalist and Republican insider, says he hears that Rudy Guliani is poised to jump into the race for the 2012 Republican presidential. You know what they say; If at first you fail spectacularly, try, try again.
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