Hey gang, so... I have ten dollars in my checking account until my next payday. Don't worry though, I've read "The Secret" and I'm sure the Universe is going to be giving me a lot of unexpected money soon. If only everyone read "The Secret"... there would be no poor people.
Anycrap, let's get to the jokes. You don't care about my financial situation.
Speaking of people that don't have to worry about money: Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, the former business partners and Harvard University classmates of Mark Zuckerberg, have dropped their court appeal of a settlement with the Facebook founder. They are however, still proceeding with the case of who has the worse last name.
According to the BBC, automaker Saab is having trouble paying it's employees and is on the brink of going under. This is baad news for this caarmaaker.
Sgt. Maj. Micheal Barrett, recently selected to be the senior enlisted adviser to the Marine Corps thinks gays should be allowed in the military, saying, “Get over it,” “We’re magnificent, we’re going to continue to be. … Let’s just move on, treat everybody with firmness, fairness, dignity, compassion and respect. Let’s be Marines.” To which the straight soldiers snickered and said, "He said 'firm'".
In health news, both men and women have better odds of surviving colon cancer if they are married, U.S. researchers say. Scientist are still not clear as to which is the bigger pain in the ass.
Monique Lawless, a Texas woman, had nothing personal at stake when she saw three men leaving a Walmart store in Alvin with three cases of beer they didn't pay for. She was a customer, not an employee, of the store. And she chased the men down and jumped on the hood of their car. Great job Monique, why to stick up for the biggest retailer on the planet! Hey Monique, you know that if you worked for Wal-Mart you would never be promoted to management, don't you?
An unnamed former Apple exec said that Apple is getting into the TV business. They are going to "blow Netflix and the other guys away." Their plan is to strip the TV of all it's useful features and raise the price. Should be a huge success.
That's it for me kids. If you happen to see me, give me a dollar.
Hugs
Not to mention the fact that she wouldn't have health insurance to pay for any injuries incurred as she apprehended those varmints Dukes of Hazzard style.
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