Thursday Morning Monologue - June 15, 2011

T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Why? Because time is ceaseless, kiddos. It keeps on moving. As we all do. But we can still stop and enjoy a blog, right?

Okay. Here's something. A U.S. Airways mechanic stowed away on a recent flight in a part of the plane called the "Hell Hole," because it is not pressurized or heated during flight, and there's no oxygen. Apparently that's still preferable to sitting in the cabin....

In politics, Rep. Peter King, has been taking fire from groups upset about his congressional investigation into the danger of Muslims in America. He's surprised at the anger the investigation has caused, adding "it's getting really tough to be a racist in America."

The hacker group LulzSec opened a hack-request telephone line this week, so users can suggest targets for the group. That's right. A telephone line. Apparently their fax line is broken.

In St. Louis, the local Catholic church cancelled a fundraising event co-sponsored by Hooters, because the Catholic church would never recover from the scandal of being linked to adult women in skimpy outfits selling mediocre chicken wings. That's clearly the worst thing that could happen to them.

In Pakistan, the military arrested and interrogated five informants who sold out bin Laden to American intelligence agents. So, we're clearly on the same team here.

In Hollywood this year, the producers of the Oscars said they plan to nominate five to ten films for best picture. This is expected to put a huge strain on the motion picture industry, as they were only planning to make three good movies this year. Four, tops.

In Utah, a family was forced to move out of their new home after they discovered it was infested with thousands of snakes. Samuel L. Jackson has been contacted.

And lastly, this week a Seattle man suspended himself from a hot air balloon 2,800 feet in the air with ropes attached to piercings in his back. He said "it's better than U.S. Airways."

Okay, that's all for the week from me! Do come back again tomorrow and see what's up! And if you have a chance, try some fresh fruit!

Have a great day!