It's Two-Two-Tuesday And you know what that means! Good, then we don't have to talk about it. On with the blog!
Coalition forces bombing Tripoli nearly hit Colonel Gaddhafi's personal tent with a smart bomb this weekend in what some observers are calling a targeted attempt to kill the obviously nuts dictator. A spokesman for the coalition forces denied that Gaddhafi was being targeted personally by the bombing campaign, and further went on to say "wink!"
Back in America, T-Mobile has been fielding questions from consumers who are concerned about the impending purchase of the company by AT&T. The most popular question is, of course, will T-Mobile be offering iPhones? The answer, sadly, is no. However, T-Mobile customers can look forward to the same awful service that iPhone users have "enjoyed" for years. Thanks, Ma Bell!
The presidential election in Haiti wrapped up this week without serious incident. International observers were shocked to learn, though, that at least two people still wanted to be the president of Haiti.
Former rock singer Sammy Hagar has a new book out. Wait, that's not the weird part. Mr. Hagar revealed in the book that he's been abducted by aliens, on multiple occasions, beginning when he was four years old. It's at that point the story gets fishy. Really, Sammy, the aliens kept coming back for years to abduct you? Come on, you know everyone gets sick of you after one song.
In San Antonio, a man flipped out at Taco Bell when he discovered the price of his burrito had gone up since the last time he visited. First, he fired a BB gun at the cashier, then went to his car and got an assault rifle, which he fired at police and then barricaded himself inside until the cops threw tear gas inside. All over the price of a burrito at Taco Bell. Can you imagine what this guy did when he found out about Santa Claus?
Good news from Hollywood, as writers and studios reached a tentative agreement to continue working for the next three years. Writers will receive pay raises, as well as increased revenue from royalties. In Wisconsin, Governor Scott Walker said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Elsewhere in Hollywood, actress Kate Walsh, the celebrated star of Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy said in an interview that at 43 years old, she feels like a loser for not having children. She then went on to add, "thank God I've still got my amazing television career. I mean, if I were 43, didn't have children and didn't have a successful television show, we'll I'd probably just kill myself."
Finally, Sarah Palin has been visiting Israel this week, but she's staying very far away from the press. 'Cause they're controlled by the you-know-who... Happy Purim, everyone!
That's all I can bring myself to write. Hope you enjoyed it! Click those buttons below, share us with your friends and come back tomorrow for more joyful tidings and jokes and things. Have a great day everyone!
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